Shade
by N a i. K i r e i. Y u k i
Summary: Even when they are, they aren't. SasuNaru.


Summary: Even when they are, they aren't. SasuNaru.

**Warnings**: Violence, Sex, Angst.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, anyone. Stupid, I know.

_Gift for the Lovely Kori-C __..._

This long one shot is long. So like, sit down and enjoy? K, ok. ^.-

...

"Em, that was amazing. Like seriously," The sated blond's whisper skirted across the moist skin of the older male while his jittery fingers attempted to clasp onto slippery flesh he could reach. Sasuke snorted with pleasure, limbs still heavily useless in the phase of post coital bliss. Still, stationed between the tan teen thighs he twisted to find a suitable position for his exhausted body. Labored breaths were perceptible in the surrounding distance, the only noise springing to life in the closed room. Their sweaty skin gingerly brushed together; adding to the sparks of friction generating in the heart of their bellies.

Placing his hand around the taut waist, permitting himself to be encased by the scorching heat of his neck, he let his eyelids flutter closed. The smaller teenager detested the movement above him with a scruffy grunt. Would Sasuke mind stopping all the movement? Because then he would have to move and he didn't want to move. He was comfortable like this. Just like this.

"I know. Cause _I'm_ **fucking** _amazing_," The dark haired male answered with a subdued tone but ego projecting loud and clear into the curve of Naruto's moist shoulder.

Naruto rolled his beautiful, blue eyes with a hint of attitude, thinking he knew better than to compliment a pig-headed Uchiha. "What's amazing is how you tote you and your ego everywhere you go. I mean, don't you get tired?" He asked, voice raspy and thick with heavy exhaustion as he inattentively slipped his hand into the soft spikes of ebony.

Another snort came, "That's what I got these for." He weakly slipped Naruto's hand over his triceps so he could feel his flexing muscles.

Slightly slipping from his arm, Naruto angled his torso away from Sasuke. "You're impossible… You're lucky I like you enough."

"You like me a lot," Sasuke argued inadequately. "Or else we wouldn't do this."

Naruto grumbled unpleasantly, closing his eyes back. "Whhhhat_ever_."

"Don't be like that," Sasuke muttered, raising his head, closing in on Naruto's lips. He shocked to find he was prevented by the palm of Naruto's hand enveloping his face.

"Get away from me," Naruto grouchily said, pushing Sasuke away.

Sasuke was annoyed by the reaction. For once in his life, he was trying to cuddle like a "good" boyfriend should. Of course, depending on Naruto's radical mood, intimacy wasn't required. Somehow, he had managed to cause one of those instances. He wasn't sure how he'd triggered it. But he had, thus changing the course of their uncomplicated _relaxation_.

This dynamic upturn happened more often than he was willing to admit. But he attributed it all to Naruto's inability to _enjoy_ all aspects of his personality, including his extreme cockiness and odd, dry humor. In his mind, it was a fair trade off because he wasn't in love with all of Naruto's traits either. Especially the loud talking, the irrational eating habits, his obsession with orange and ramen, and his quick temper. It was a light list compared to things that he did like about him. For example, his confidence, his kindness, and his impeccable ability to read him like an open book without him having to say a word. He wasn't directly comparing Naruto's good and bad qualities. He just thought Naruto was being a little unfair when it came to what he did and didn't want from him. It was an unfairness that he constantly had to deal with. But today would not be one of those days.

Naruto quickly pulled his hand away after a few split seconds when he felt a slimy substance come into contact with his fingers.

"Ew, did you just lick my fingers?!" Naruto cried in astonishment. Eyes wide, he dug his heels into the bed, trying to escape the traitorous man atop him. His weight straining his legs and paralyzing them into place, he only made it centimeters before Sasuke sunk his teeth into soft spot under his jaw. An implicit moan filtered the cry of anger that was meant to escape instead. Sasuke heard the change of pace and smirked wholeheartedly into the brash, unexpected ministration. As the blond's breathing quickened, he released the tender pinch of skin and kissed it lightly. "Perfect distraction," He whispered, clandestinely slipping his hard arousal back into Naruto's tight, slippery hole, effectively claiming his ass as his cock's home for the second time this afternoon. The hot fleshy walls immediately clamped down on his member, selfishly drawing him even though Naruto hadn't wholly realized what just occurred.

The loudest gasp ever heard warmed his ears, echoing off the walls of his orderly room. The surprise caused the boy to immediately hold onto his shoulders for purchase, groaning, the pleasure towering his petite frame. After one shallow thrust, he pushed all the way in—feeling last round's deposit coat his dick—as he closely observing the beautiful male color from the tensing bundle of stimulation. Groaning, he pushed in deeper the second time, trying to repeat his usual rhythm. After he reached the hilt, he rotated his hips slightly to the right, then ground in with all his might.

A small squeal that hit his ears increased his confidence and caused his heart to tingle. The sound of Naruto's enjoyment always crippled him with fervor. Making the acute connection to Naruto's blue eyes that were so true that they teetered on amethyst, he passionately stared into him, and literally shivered with reverence. They shamelessly twinkled, with lust, a slab of greed and something else… Sasuke wasn't sure but he'd say… it was _love_.

His breath hitched in his throat as Naruto's hands slowly but sensually transitioned to both sides of his neck, fingers tangoing into this sweat drenched hair strands. His breathing slightly steadied and his gaze softened as a smile molded onto his pliant lips. His thumbs made way down his jawline, his compassion seamlessly strung into every touch. He snapped his hips up, greedily, arousing a delicious moan from his enraptured bed mate. His full, stiff erection nudged Sasuke's navel, making itself well pronounced, feeling himself teeter on edge of orgasm.

Only Sasuke could cause him to morph into a wicked, sex fiend that craved his intimacy and his hot touch. God, it was so maddening, he couldn't stand it. He was just above begging, but just below demanding. His dominance was often worn on his sleeve but today, for once, Sasuke was the initiator and the rapaciously taking what he called his. It was delicious; Naruto loved seeing his commonly collected, reserved boyfriend become a perverted deviant, thirsting after his kisses and access to his every hidden crevice. It made him feel wanted—feel sexy.

In silence of the room, their moans circulated through the sheet rock as they tasseled in the sheets, the sound of slapping skin motivating them to put more energy into romp session. The sun's last appeal burst through the silky majesty purple curtain as the afternoon slowly wore on, hiding behind the blockage of the trees and vast Uchiha properties.

Sasuke captured the younger boy's ear lobe in his teeth nibbling on desperately; jerkily moving from there to Naruto's pronounced collar bone. It was one of the many ways Naruto knew from regular intercourse with the boy that he was ethereally close to completion.

"Fuck, this must be what heaven must be like…" he pulled Naruto's legs further apart demanding more access, as he slammed into the hilt. Naruto violently screamed, glad that Sasuke's parents were never around to be spectators to their healthy sexual appetite. He would be eternally humiliated and Sasuke would be grounded until the day they both died.

His mind quickly left such matters as Sasuke anxiously doubled his speed, hammering into his willingly accepting hole much more desperately than before.

"I can never get enough of you." Sasuke whispered, shortly thereafter, suffocating Naruto with sweet, tender kisses, layering them across his face, concluding his barrage on his lover's exquisitely soft lips. Naruto returned the gesture unreservedly, his tongue mingling, heartbeat thrashing in his ribcage like a bongo drum. Sasuke sucked his reddened lips, gently pulling away, inciting a small sound of dissent from the other party. "And I _never_ want to."

Naruto's eyes widened as he felt his heart frisson and his skin crimson as he reached a new level of pleasure because of the heightened link between them.

"Oh S'ske… me either." He brought his arms into his chest and held Sasuke's youthful face, soundlessly pressing his silky lips to his cheek, nestling into his dewy expanse of skin, relaxing into the erratic jerks into his ass, ... Sasuke unknowingly made an indefinite promise of commitment on his behalf. He was so awestruck by the admittance his mind careened into a light shade of felicity that only Sasuke could only possibly achieve. Just one of the small reasons, he kept Sasuke near him.

He continually rolled his hips up the warm cum leaking from the safety of his ofrice, the greed becoming clearer as the seconds rolled on, his cock pulsing with a hit of need.

Putting aside what he had recently said, Sasuke felt Naruto become even more active, driving him to the brink of insanity with his thrusting. He discontinued thinking any longer instead using all his available brain power to harshly barrel into Naruto, the saturated squelching becoming evidence of primal reaction to his nearing climax. As the consistency improved, he felt his cock flinch in anticipation, his semen gathering at the head as he ruthlessly pumped. Coming into their an explosive peak, effortlessly dragged Naruto with him. The blond's sphinter convulsed, his abdominal muscles clamping together as he cried out in pure pleasure. Cum chaotically splattered onto their previously soiled centers, as Sasuke pumped a second round of cum into Naruto, causing the tight snatch to easily brim over, staining the bed poor bed sheets a second time.

Coming down from their second high—the used the last bit of energy to embrace one another. Overcome by the connection they shared, Sasuke pushed his fingers in the spaces between Naruto's, absolutely amazed. By this experience, by the remarkable being, by the feelings bubbling in his heart.

Naruto muttered his name sweetly against his collar bone, tucking his head into his neck, drawing his nails across his shoulder blades, making Sasuke feel wanted.

Something he wouldn't change it for the world.

...

The immaculate room was finally adorned with unpolluted silence as both once gyrating bodies finally stilled.

With his torso rested against the cherry wood headboard, arms over his Naruto's, his naked chest pressed to Naruto's bare back. He felt Naruto lazily pulled the sheet over their overexerted bodies, probably to preclude the cold, automated air conditioning pouring out of the overhead vents and dry their perspired soaked bodies. Feeling sleep quietly consume him, he burrowed into the pillow, sighing lightly.

This was common practice for them—lay here until they k'oed or until one of them sought the initiative to get up.

Whichever came first.

"You hungry?" Sasuke blearily asked, his fingertips stroking Naruto's silky almond skin.

Naruto opened his eyes and turned to look at Sasuke. "For food?"

Sasuke glared, wondering how his mind could still possibly be so firmly implanted in the gutter. "Yes, Naruto _food_."

He smiled lightheartedly with a faint chuckle. "Oh, heh. Yeah, I could eat."

"Pizza, okay?" Sasuke asked, closing his gorgeous grey eyes.

Naruto rolled in Sasuke's direction, curling up to his side, apparently his energy renewed. "Pizza sounds great."

"Picking me up tomorrow morning?" Naruto asked, twisting the ends of Sasuke's satiny hair in his fingers. "Early?"

Sasuke cracked open one eye to look at him. "Don't I always?"

Naruto smiled at him, his effervescent personality beaming through his Arabian blue eyes, his cheeks glowing a warm cranberry shade, lips tinged a bubblegum pink. Undeniably flustered by Naruto's beauty, he quickly looked away to far left wall. Amazingly, he could never directly into it—it always made him feel despicably unworthy.

Naruto never knew that. He just assumed Sasuke found his bright grin to be on the whole condescending and mocking. Whatever the reason, he didn't mind. Sasuke could believe what he wanted to. It wasn't going to change the real meaning of his smile.

Sensibly, he put his hand onto Sasuke's toned stomach, twirling his finger on small circles, resting his chin against on Sasuke's bosom, quieted by the steady tempo of his heart.

"Yeah," he answered restfully, barely registering that their legs and the 100,000 thread count sheet were snarled all together, swapping an allotment of heat.

Perching on Sasuke a little while longer, he finally raised up, rattling the older male from his comfort a bit. "Let's shower before we get that pizza."

Naruto rolled out the bed and walked into Sasuke's right to the elaborate prince-like bathroom.

Sasuke pulled his cellphone from under his pillow preparing to order the pizza. "In a minute."

Naruto stopped at the doorframe, one foot on the cold tile, turning his stark naked body to his lover. "In a minute? No, now." He pouted, his gleaming golden hair falling into his dramatic blue eyes.

Sasuke glanced at him, his concentration alternating between Naruto's dissatisfaction and the cum, dripping from his sloppily made hole. As he embellished his fetish from afar, he failed to react as he watched the white liquid dribble from the cuff of Naruto's plump, defined buttocks onto the outskirts of his caramel inner thighs.

_He left that there. Naruto __**let**__ him leave it there._

His obsession was obviously garnering all his attention at the moment, causing his boyfriend to become irritated by his lack of attentiveness.

Naruto glared marching toward him and snatched the sheet off him. Sasuke fumbled, trying to retrieve the bed accessory. "You idiot, give that back!" He contritely commanded from the safety of the bed.

Naruto refused, pulling the light blue sheet to him and stood back at the bathroom door again. "Make me!" He smiled, celebrating Sasuke's commonly grumpy, disgruntled facet. "You'reeee gonnaaaa have to comeee and _getttt_ it!" He turned and ran into the bathroom, his melodic goading leaving a trail loud behind him. Sasuke deeply scowled, his growl syncing with his furious toss of his phone to the bed as he chased down his foolishly wonderful boyfriend.

...

It wasn't something that either of them were familiar with. They had had "bonds" they considered valuable but never anything like this. This, this new "relationship thing" they had been going on for about a year and a half. It was different—scary and it had both transformed them from the inside out, taking their smooth exteriors and transmuting them into spiky sheet metal. It was a rocky, but then again, the word "rocky" would be an understatement. In order to describe their tumultuous relationship, you would have to search the dictionary from back to front. And even if there was a proper word to summarize what they had, it was still debatable.

Truth be told, they were eons away from normal. Their arguments shifted seas but their love drowned the seven oceans. Although, it sounded like an impossible trait for romance, it wasn't. Everyday their disdain for one another greatly weighed on them, at times tipping the positive end of the scale into the sempiternal dark.

It was tough reality to submerse in. For them, but for anyone really. When their eyes locked, the gander wearily addressed both sides of their contradictory bond, silently acknowledging every fracture in their depthless—rich relationship.

They tended to argue more than average couple, illuminating each other's small faults on a regular basis. It was everything but normal. They were both well aware of that but that knowledge didn't deter them. They kept chugging along, taking each other's words for face value, treasuring what they knew was true. Even though breaking up was in best interest, their spicy attachment wouldn't tolerate such a horrible fate.

After about the 7th month, they realized that they fit better at a distance than together. But they couldn't stop. They assumed they were indestructible. Their electrical force shocked them back into respective roles, careening them into together once again.

For some time, they pretended that they were impenetrable even though something trivial—squabbles over nothing usually turned into big, explosive quarrels that had enough clout to cause the world to turn unevenly on her axis, and change the current season. Somehow, their undoing never endured. In no time at all, they'd always come back together like a strange ball of silly putty.

It had to be the world's 8th wonder—a huge phenomenal, caused by their undeniable magnetism, like the north and south poles. N & S always fitting together like molds, filling each other completely. Did that the mean that they were in love?

That would be a big definitive, assertion on their part. One neither of them could openly confirm with words.

They had never said it to one another.

I _love_ you.

Love.

_What even qualified as love? _

...

They'd known each other since they were children, meeting after Naruto accidentally tripped over Sasuke's play truck in the park field. His 13 year old brother at the time, Itachi helped him up and tried to nurse his scraped knee. Naruto eagerly tried to apologize but he could barely express his remorse at 3 ½ years old. He tried to suppress his feelings, but when he saw Sasuke's dark eyes sullenly look at the broken truck bed, he began to cry.

Sasuke didn't say anything to Naruto, only looking up to Itachi. "It can be fixed, right?" The five year old inquired optimistically.

Itachi nodded, adding, "Or we can buy another one, just like it, if you want. Mother and father wouldn't object."

Sasuke didn't respond to his brother, he just reached out to the small child and patted his head. "Stop crying. It's okay, it was an accident," He soothingly said to the toddler. He didn't want him to take responsibility for it. He didn't break his toy on purpose.

"But I broke ya toyyy…" He hiccupped as his lips quivered. "Now, you can't pway wiff it."

He sniffled again, another crying fit approaching. "I'm sowee."

Sasuke ruffled his hair again. "Stop crying. It's okay." Sasuke encouragingly smiled at him, finally comforting the boy.

"Weally?" He asked rubbing his big, teary blue eyes.

Sasuke nodded with a small smile. He didn't want the little guy to be sad over something that he didn't do intentionally. His mom always taught him to have forgiveness, especially for people that were especially repentant.

Itachi smiled as he saw the interaction. He had never seen Sasuke be so nice to someone outside the family before. Usually he was rude and brash with the kids in his grade, making them feel unworthy. So this was a nice change, but not one that he thought he should get used to. He picked up the toy and the small child with a smile.

"I-I'll get you a new one!" Naruto proclaimed innocently to Sasuke.

Itachi laughed, lifting Naruto up. "You don't have to do that."

Stubbornly, he frowned, furrowing his small brows. "I do!"

Itachi admired his persistence. He hoped in the future he never lost that fire. It would take him far in life. Who was this little firecracker anyway? "What's your name?"

"Nawuto." He blinked, looking into Itachi's curious grey eyes with absolution.

"Well, nice to meet you Naruto," The older boy said with a smile.

The toddler gave a bright smile in return, waddling in Itachi's arms excitedly. "Yay!"

The teen chuckled once more, eventually beckoning Sasuke over with a hand. They needed to head back to their small area where they kept their stuff. "C'mon, Sasuke let's get this little guy cleaned up."

On the pleasantly sunny day, Naruto frowned, his cheeks swelling with an unappreciative pout. "I'm not wittle!"

...

Naruto glimpsed at Sasuke then back at Itachi. They looked awfully similar to one another. There was no question, they were related, but how? To the small boy they appeared to be nearly identical. Their hair looked the same, except Sasuke's appeared to be much spikier. His face was rounder, plumper with a younger edge to it. He'd never seen two people that looked so much alike. On the nearby bench, as Itachi pulled out the first aid kit, his long ponytail hair tacking onto shoulder, Naruto launched his lingering question in his small, innocent voice. "Are you twins?"

"No," Sasuke answered slightly confused. "He's my older brother."

Naruto seemed to inhale the information demonstratively, as a large grin was set in on his face. "Okay!"

Itachi pulled out a large Band-Aid and a small alcohol swab, prepping Naruto's knee. He daubed the wound to remove excess blood before cleaning it carefully with alcohol. The baby boy hissed as tears developed in his glistening azure eyes from the potent sting. He wouldn't cry because he was convinced that he was a big boy. He could handle the little shock of pain.

"Naruto!" A tanned long haired man called, running past the maple trees, hastily. "Where were you? Are you okay?!"

He saw the skin scrape on his knee and he grimaced. What had happened while he was gone?

The youngest Uchiha appeared alarmed by the long white haired man toward them. Was he distressed because they did something wrong?

Itachi formerly turned to the older man unperturbed by his panic and introduced himself, "Hello, I am Itachi Uchiha and this is my little brother, Sasuke." Sasuke looked up questioningly, holding his broken toy in his small hands. "I'm just treating Naruto. He tripped over my brother's truck and seemed to have gotten a little injury as a result." Itachi looked back at the small child with a pinch of worry. "But he should be fine now. May I ask who you are?"

"I'm his godfather. Heh," He nervously scratched the back of neck. "The lil' runt kind of got away from me."

Itachi understandingly smiled. "Well luckily Sasuke's toy was there to stop him. If not, he might be halfway around the world right about now."

Jiraiya gave a good natured chuckle to the articulate young boy. "Isn't that the truth?"

The young teen nodded and reached out for a handshake with the older man. "Nice to meet you, sir." The older man felt like if he didn't find Naruto immediately he would have been left in good hands. The young man seemed to know what he was doing.

"Name's Jiraiya," He said with a grateful smile.

Distracted by the stillness of the two possibly rambunctious kids, they were surprised to see nothing wild had transpired. They were just engaged in a small conversation, Sasuke moving from the cement, siding Naruto on the bench, talking to him.

Jiraiya was glad. It appeared that Naruto had made his first real friend. It was almost like it was unplanned play date waiting to happen. Astonishingly enough after this one meeting, it wasn't long before the two had regular play dates. Sasuke's older brother, Itachi, supervised all their activities, never bringing Naruto around their parents in fear of what would happen.

Jiraiya had gotten used to them being around and naturally wanted the Uchihas to keep Naruto company. They had become like extended family, coming over every weekend for a feast of the weekly yakisoba, sushi, and Naruto's favorite, ramen. After a full meal they indulged in night time family games.

In the coming years, Itachi was enrolled in a private high school; leaving him less time to hang out with the Sasuke and his newly emotionally adopted little brother, Naruto Namikaze. They tried to spend as much time with him as possible between his studious habits and bone-breaking exams. They wished he could have been around more. Jiraiya had gotten another book deal that required him to spend long afternoons downtown meeting with various publishers. They didn't need another addition to be robbed from their small makeshift family.

Disappointed, jolted but not broken, the two young boys spent all their time together, especially when Itachi couldn't keep a close eye on them.

The two young boys quickly became the best of friends, inseparable by any standard. Until of course, Sasuke entered middle school, leaving Naruto alone in Elementary school to fend for himself. They rarely kept in contact, not really find their way back to each other until Naruto entered 6th grade and reunited him as he entered 8th grade. Instantly, they found their cycle again, exchanges 'idiot' and 'bastard' being herded between the two, it was like they had never been torn apart.

Naruto was so excited that he swore to keep Sasuke as close as possible so they would never be separated again.

...

Sasuke's parents were the founders of a successful Asian airline: Uchiha Airways. This left them unusually busy, always in meetings, taking long trips to different countries, testing their flight quality, always trying to better the business. It left them a lot of time to dawdle about the home without a care in the world. Sasuke usually had to fend for himself, considering he had just recently turned 16 and was very capable of feeding and cleaning up after himself. He had an accessible vehicle to get around and a bank account to buy necessities if they were not in the vicinity at the time to provide it to him. The majority of time, Sasuke didn't even need them to continue with his life. They were practically phantoms that visited Sasuke once in a while.

Naruto worried that Sasuke was lonely, especially since Itachi had moved out, now living across the state, rarely visiting. He didn't have any friends or other relatives that he could occupy his time with.

It was just him. Sasuke only had him.

Sometimes, he wondered that was enough in every sense of the word.

A big enough distraction from his suspected loneliness. He tried to keep Sasuke occupied so he wouldn't think about the big, empty house.

He knew Sasuke wasn't good with emotions, showing them or handling them. So maybe if he kept all those feelings at bay, Sasuke wouldn't have to deal with those feelings right now. He knew when Sasuke was ready—he would tell him about it. Until then, it was his responsibility to make sure Sasuke's overall welfare was optimally functional.

When he made commitments like this, he always stepped back and examined the bigger picture. Soon Sasuke was going to be out on his own, venturing the world. Freshman year, he was recruited into an early graduation program that was enabled to work through grades levels in a matter of months. Naruto was proud of him. Who wouldn't be? He was going to be such a successful man. _The __**world**__ was his oyster._

Even if he wasn't a part of his life after this, he still wanted the best for him. He wasn't going to be accused of holding Sasuke back. He was determined to be an instrument to his success, not an obstruction. He had enough on his plate, Sasuke didn't need to pressed with his blatant insubordination.

Being enrolled at a private school made the propensity for stress a greater possibility for them. Their classes were edged to challenge the students and the teachers were specialized to flavor the curriculum with a special level of difficulty. It was a pretty cut throat environment. Many students struggled to keep their rankings above exceptional so they would be scouted by universities like Columbia, Harvard, and Princeton. They had even heard of students taking poppers to stay awake to study and take long exams. There were people who were expelled all the time for lowering the school's average because their lack care for their attendance and education. To add fuel to the fire, there were entire cheating scandals where many people were expelled for their hand in the blatant disregard for school rules and state laws. He and Sasuke were never involved in anything so scandalous; but that didn't equate to their school being a place that was any easier to bear. Even the dress code was particularly strict. And for a school that was stressed that their primary focus was education, they sure were concerned about stitches and cloth. The males were required to wear the black blazer with the small pitch fork emblem, a red tie, slacks and black shoes, no exceptions. The girls were confined to a white shirt, red tie, the red emblem stitched blazer and knee length skirt. Not even the ladies were granted any leeway for small wardrobe modifications. If they were brave they would be but they would also sent to the office and have their parents called forthwith. Someday days they didn't mind too much but they did often wish they could throw on a simple jeans and a t-shirt.

Naruto knew he did—especially when he and Sasuke were intimate.

The simplicity of stripping off a shirt, his pants, and pair of boxers was a wet dream these days. In reality, he had to peel off every barrier that kept him from what he wanted, thus making the process harder, him hungrier, and the sex rougher.

It did usually tip the scale into madness but he guessed it something that he had put up with a matter of months since…well since he and Sasuke started… bumping uglies, and it wasn't changing anytime soon.

So he guessed, he would just have to get used to it.

Along with Sasuke's passive aggressive nature.

He predicted he would be upset, but he didn't anticipate it would reach these heights. His water-slicked body was thrown into heart of the bed, as his Sasuke toppled him possessively.

"If you take the sheet again, not only will you be punished, your punishment will be by hands, by my standards," Sasuke warned with a black tone, pinning his lover's hands to the bed, their wet skin sliding together fittingly. He lowered his nose tip to Naruto's, his eyes holding a bucket of promise, but his bark didn't have a bit of bite.

Their shower had been rather interesting, Sasuke personally washing all his _special_ spots.

The memory inspired Naruto's mocking smile, finding the position more erotic than imperiling... "I'm so scared. I think I might need to change my pants."

Sasuke frowned with displeasure. The tanned boy wasn't even wearing underwear.

"I'm serious," Sasuke warned.

Naruto blinked, smile spreading, the forte of Sasuke's anger exploding like d-4 bombs. "I'm sure you are but before you finish your arsenal of threats, can we please have some pizza?" Naruto asked with a big grin.

...

Class. School. Not any child's favorite place. But a daily task that had to be done…repeatedly, Monday through Friday. It was a slow torturous process that would slowly kill any living thing. First dehydrating the brain of Cerebrospinal fluid then fatiguing the body, fracturing your bones and then, last but not least, crushing your spirit. Naruto wasn't the slightest bit disillusioned by this reality but even that didn't soften the blow.

He was a freshman.

Fresh _meat_ in a private school that Jiraiya was paying a heinous amount of money for. He didn't hide that he was thankful that he had so much faith in him. He also didn't preclude the fact that he wasn't a school oriented person. He did allude to the fact that Jiraiya may or may not have been wasting his money but he did promise to "do his best."

Whatever that meant…

(God help him. God help them all.)

He arrived on campus on time, 8 AM, but his confident stroll might have taken a few minutes out of his trip. He wasn't late to his honors Chemistry class _per se_ but sure as hell wasn't early. The teacher had already begin preparing her papers for the start of day and had already written the daily 'brain squeezer' on the board that they were expected to solve before the first bell rang.

He only had about 30 seconds to pull out his materials, last night's homework, and finish the brain squeezer. Not that he really cared. She already knew that he wasn't stupid, just crazily unmotivated like 95% of people his age were. He'd already had the speech from her that if he applied himself, he would be so much better and blah blah blah… He had heard it a million times in middle school and didn't really land. So he doubted it was really going to stick second semester freshman year in high school.

In the end, it didn't matter, he was still going to do his work and turn it in… at his convenience.

He had done the same thing first semester and managed to walk about with 4 pairs of A minuses in his advanced placement classes. Not too shabby for a lazy, unmotivated teenager, if he might say so himself.

Chemistry was painfully easy. The only thing that made it difficult was his asshole of a lab partner, Sai. He'd always have some lame pun waiting in the winds or some insulting observations that would make his skin boil. He tried to ignore him most of time but it was nearly impossible. He was like an unavoidable plague that made you miserable and ruined you from inside out. He presumed that was the objective of Sai's daily tortures, making him miserable. Everyday, he virtually imploded with anger; often feeling like this boiling irritation wouldn't be quenched until he punched the other in the face and watched closely as he squirmed in agony. It was the ultimate fantasy. Sadly, he reframed from doing it. But only because he didn't think one punch would be enough to satisfy his frustration.

He sat down in his assigned seat located in the back of the classroom and pulled out his binder, then put his back pack on the lower part of the desk, not sparing Sai a single glance. He could feel his eyes on him anyway, studying every little motion he made beside him. He didn't even get the chance to even catch his breath before _it_ began…

"Hey, you know what I was looking up last night?" He heard the pale man say.

Naruto felt his lip twitch and his eyes involuntarily narrow.

He didn't honor his idiotic question with a reply because he was sure that he would receive the answer whether he wanted it or not. He just kept his gaze forward as turned to a fresh page in his binder.

"I was looking up castration and I was thinking would you be interested in something like that? I think it'd be more beneficial and a lot less painful if you just removed what little you already have."

Ignoring the sensation of his brain fizzling, he felt more than compelled to compose a reply. "I don't know Sai. I think I would need a buddy for that kind of procedure. And I was thinking, you'd be the perfect candidate because…" Naruto slowly but stably tapped his pen against his college ruled paper, enjoying the way it annoyingly distracted the junior. "According to the football team, you don't have much to talk about either."

A unreadable smile rose on his lips as he stared at Naruto longer than needed. It wasn't a secret that he was concealing his true reaction to the Naruto's unusually hurtful stab. The smile did annoy Naruto but not as much as Sai actually opening his mouth to speak. So took the pleasure of measuring it as a shallow victory in his book.

...

The mid-aged brunette moved to her desk in the front of the classroom and Naruto coldly met her movements with his eyes, basking in the rare silence coming from his lab partner's direction.

He didn't get to properly enjoy the shock value due to the vibrating phone in his back pocket. Before he even pulled it out, he already knew who it was and what it was about. Still not discouraged, he pulled out the phone, trying to discreetly read the message to himself. Astoundingly, he couldn't even do that peacefully.

"You guys are still at it?" He droned, looking at the phone sitting idly in Naruto's hands. "I thought that ship would have sailed a long time ago."

Naruto's big blue eyes glared at the black haired teen with a bastardly vengeance. He didn't expect it to negatively affect the emotionless senior but he did hope it would make him back off.

He didn't know why Sai bothered commenting on he and Sasuke's relationship. This wasn't something that was up for discussion. This wasn't his business but Sai wasn't going to ever let up.

He knew that Sai was going to ask about it. He was unsure if it was out of curiosity or if Sai was grappling his allotment of jealousy. He knew the subject of Sasuke was a touchy one for Sai. He was one of the few people that knew that about their oddly intimate relationship. Some weeks ago, he had caught him sending a personal message to Sasuke while they had been given individual work time. To be frank, he wasn't pleased with the new development. He had questioned it with bare malice, quietly mocking the premise of their relationship even though he had no extended knowledge about them other than their full birth name and the fact that they were sure to die.

Although he was offended, he didn't respond to Sai.

He hadn't much faith in the idea that the boy next to him wouldn't judge him.

Because he wasn't Sasuke.

It was another reason he internally gravitated to him more than he ever would Sai. Sasuke was often compared to the older boy in terms of looks, stature and social standing. To Naruto, they didn't appear as similar as everyone made them out to be. They were two separate individuals and he didn't appreciate the student body likening them to one another at all. In his opinion, Sasuke was much more attractive than Sai both aesthetically and characteristically. The Uchiha had a better handle on his emotions and clearly knew who he was while Sai was awkward and emotionally unsettled. Their personalities alone made them feel as different as day and night as did their looks. Sai was a harsh, unnatural white making the earthly tone in Sasuke's pigment make him look like an exotic make version of snow white. He very much preferred the silky glow to Sasuke's skin than to Sai's pasty likeness.

That wasn't where the differences ended. Sai also sported a shorter haircut while Sasuke's was shaggier and more unkempt adding to his mysterious, enchanting representation. But what made the difference even more substantial to Naruto were their creed, sense of style, and their dignity. Being from an upper middle class family, Sasuke was raised to be more or less reserved and appropriated even at times of great pressure. Sai, on the other hand was crude and outspoken, frequently inappropriate especially around him. Naruto didn't expect anything better. Like him, he didn't have parental figures which attributed to his rude, awkward nature.

He knew he could never truly be close to someone like him. The barrier of his personal preferences would prevent him from actually getting along with him. But Naruto didn't mind, he didn't need Sai, he had Sasuke.

Finalizing his reasoning with a personal stamp of approval, he lifted his phone and texted back: _Coming_.

...

A swift breeze wrestle through the senior's hair, as Naruto blankly progressed toward him, not revealing what played behind those shielded blue eyes. Back pressed into the railing, hands in his pockets, Sasuke bemusedly focused on the withdrawn boy that exclusively hung back, waiting for him to meet him halfway. He figured this was the best he was going to get so he did the minimum expected of him.

Naruto didn't look at Sasuke as he tipped his head up and took his lips. Nothing was said, but eyes were closed as the wind possessively swirled around them. The dismal gray haze over the land—was the exemplified representation of their blurred lines between their love and hate relationship. Not conclusive; not certain.

They commonly met here. It was one of the stolen moments they could acquire in their busy lives. Sasuke was involved in public school activities, such as debate and basketball when it was in season and he was enrolled in all honors and AP classes making it hard for them to spend long periods of time together.

Sometimes, Sasuke would take him downtown to treat him to ramen, especially after he did particularly well on his attendance sheet. Others, Sasuke would hang out at his house, where at times, he would spend the night in his room. It didn't happen often but when they did he treasured the time and tried to something more special than just dinner and a movie. With that goal in mind, a few months ago he drove them out to the lake a few miles away to stare gaze. He had even put together a light meal prior to leaving. Even though they had to be back by 11, it didn't hamper the occasion one bit. The minutes felt like seconds and the hours felt like minutes but, still, he didn't complain. Wasn't that how it was supposed to feel like when you spent time with someone you truly cared about?

Well, at least he thought so. Somehow, he never thought Sasuke felt the same, but with good reason. Whenever he asked to spend the night, or have dinner at his place, the answer was always the same: "No." Every time that conclusive word was said, he accomplished the chore of keeping his composure and not flying off the handle and calling Sasuke a hypocrite and every four lettered word in the book. And even with all the crazy, irrational emotions stirring, he still managed to calmly consent with Sasuke's selfish choice. He assumed he had a good reason, perhaps not wanting to reveal the nature of their relationship because of their austere beliefs/views on homosexuality. Or prove that he was making time for someone that would only draw away from his success all because he wasn't rich. Whatever the cause, Naruto didn't take it lightly. In all fairness, he wanted to be a part of Sasuke's life just as much as he was his.

He desperately tried to come to a compromise: "Okay, if they don't like me, we won't do it again."

And as anticipated, the answer didn't change. "No."

Sasuke seemed to be neutral about the matter, never minding that Naruto was crushed with his terse choice. Naruto, however, didn't let Sasuke see how it affected him. He merely concealed his disappointment every time without fail, putting on a injured smile.

Generally, never pushed the issue. He wanted Sasuke to be happy even if he felt like one big secret.

A bad one.

Feeling a twinge of resistance, Sasuke reached forward and knotted their fingers together with a sigh. "Lunch?"

Naruto looked away. "Um, not today."

A from installed on his mouth from the indirectness of the statement. He glared and pulled Naruto to him. "Why not? You didn't mind last time."

His love appeared to be preoccupied by something—something jabbing. He knew that he would never tell him… If anyone was better than clamming up than him, it was Naruto.

"I just…" He looked into Sasuke's dark grey eyes, ashamed that Sai's words were affecting him so adversely, hence directly impacting their already complicated relationship. "Not today."

Sasuke frowned, glaring into Naruto's evasive blue eyes. His nose twitched, as his gaze lowered to his feet.

Sasuke wiped his mouth, feeling his anger build but then tardily plateau.

It wasn't a secret to him that Naruto didn't like to be seen with him around school, or in public. It wasn't something he had originally outright revealed to him, however, when the conversation finally took place, he was audaciously offended. He had yelled, called Naruto names, and even thrown a few things around. To him, his reaction was justified even though the anger was just a disguise for the hurt. He continued to spaz out, his tirade not dying down until Naruto softly said, "The reason I don't like it is because I don't want people to make fun of me for being around you."

Naruto appeared to be so cornered and so hurt that he couldn't even look at Sasuke, making the Uchiha officially feel like the definition of an asshole.

It was a means of protection. He didn't want to be embarrassed and sited as 'not good enough.'

It was well-known that Sasuke had a hoard of people that admired him up-close, especially seeing him as the crème of the crop. The females considered him to be best fit for a high school sweetheart. Great husband material: accomplished, intelligent, ambitious, good-looking. By any standard, absolute perfection that_ any_ woman would kill to have him. The wilds of their imagination produced a beautiful capable family, that would be highly respected by the community. A gorgeous, prosperous woman to compliment him… Naruto knew that he didn't fit the description of that mold.

He, of all people, knew that people talked about Naruto, and frequently pitied him because he was adopted. He absolutely hated it. It inspired his goal to be a great figure of change, so he could prove to everyone that he wasn't some sorry little puppy that people had to sympathize with. He could be strong and be a leader that could make this place better for all of them.

Sasuke never teased him for the significance of his dream. Actually he supported it, telling Naruto that if he truly strived for it, it could really happen. Naruto was his equal, even though they weren't from similar backgrounds. Naruto was most definitely his better half despite the fact that he brought out the worst in him.

Naruto was fixed on making it happen but that wasn't the only thing that he was holding strong on. He also didn't want to be around Sasuke in the presence of others.

As long as the people closest to him, like Jiraiya and Tsunade knew about Sasuke, that was all that mattered. Not the people that could only speculate based on what they could see with their eyes, discounting of any information coming straight from the horse's mouth. People wouldn't first assume that were dating but that wasn't something they were willing to enlighten them about. Including people was relationship suicide. So to eliminate trouble and keep things simple and straightforward, they didn't discuss their relationship with others.

It instantly weeded out people with bad intentions and left them more room to operate under their own circumstances.

Naruto preferred it that way. He didn't need society's validation to be with Sasuke. As long as Sasuke accepted him, he was content.

Sasuke just needed to respect that he wasn't a trophy and he didn't need to be shone off at any point in time.

He was his and he didn't need to prove that to them.

Mouth pressed into a thin line, Sasuke unwaveringly stared at Naruto, who actively tried to ward off his gaze. With a large sigh, Naruto pulled at his uniform, uncomfortably. "Sorry." He put his hand to Sasuke's handsome face apologetically, inching up, and kissing him on the cheek. Sasuke closed his eyes, relishing in the contact then slowly pushing his hands back in his pockets.

Sasuke said nothing as Naruto returned into the class, leaving him with his thoughts and the volatile sky and hostile wind. He looked toward the heavens.

Sometimes, he just wished… he just wished things were different.

...

He hoped that Sasuke didn't take the lunch incident too hard. He didn't intentionally try to be cruel to Sasuke. Yesterday had not been a good day to pair up.

To say Sai wasn't a factor in his decision would be a lie, so Naruto didn't even try to convince himself of that.

There was a change of barriers building between them. After he returned home, he waited for Sasuke to call him so he could apologize profusely. To his chagrin, Sasuke never called. He tried to shrug off the fact that Sasuke hadn't called him last night. And didn't show up to any of his classes today. Perhaps, he had a family emergency and couldn't contact him immediately. Yeah, that had to be it. Sasuke was fine. He had to be. If he wasn't…

Naruto clutched his trig notebook.

No, he wouldn't worry himself.

Sasuke would be back tomorrow.

...

Jiraiya had met Sasuke many years ago when they were both young children. He had liked him enough. He seemed to genuinely make Naruto happy and lift him up. He hadn't become reacquainted with him until Naruto entered middle school again. After that, Naruto had brought him into their house many a times, practically making him family.

He knew that Naruto was in love with him. He saw it in his eyes every time he looked at him, talked about him, hung around him. Sadly, he knew Naruto had trouble admitting his true feelings for him. Which was understandable. He had no real parents, no blood relatives, and trouble making real friends. It was no surprise a boy like Naruto had trouble comprehending love, much less defining it. It was trouble, clearly dooming the teenage love affair from the start.

To make matter worse, Mr. Prissy Uchiha wasn't the one to admit to having feelings, besides those of contempt and annoyance. Putting this relationship in a very different plane than many others.

He fondly remembered when he had caught Naruto pressing a kiss on Sasuke's lips at the kitchen bar. His eyes recognizably widened and couldn't believe what he was seeing. Their position seemed rather intimate and identifiably tender. Hovering over his stool in a half standing position, thumb beckoning Sasuke's chin closer, he deliberately whispered something sensual into the safety of his lips mouth, prior to covering them with his pink ones. With a serene abandonment, their eyes closed in the unmistakably private moment, soaking in the warmth. It was side of Naruto that he hadn't known before and definitely something that he couldn't have described in his erotic novels. Before he could really completely engross in the interesting sight, Naruto's peripherals caught wind of the intrusion and immediately jumped back. Not like he had been burned, but like he had been pitched into the pit of hell without a prayer.

Attentively, his eyes ingested Naruto's widening pupils, he suddenly his whirlpool of random personal questions and suspicions were simultaneously answered. The reasons why Sasuke "spent the night" so often. And the reason they would "go out" and return minutes shy of midnight. It _all _began to make such perfect sense. Naruto bumbled, trying to explain, claiming that 'he was getting something off of Sasuke's lips' but it was truly a waste.

Sasuke didn't seem to be interested in his lie, and with the most self-assured smirk in history, he said, "No, he was kissing me."

Naruto embarrassedly fumbled, slapping Sasuke on the arm, reprimanding him. "Sasuke!"

"Ow, hitting Naruto?" Sasuke asked with a frown. "Didn't we talk about this?"

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at the awfully mature nature of the comment.

They had had time to talk about domestic violence. It seemed that they had truly taken flight.

"When were you planning on telling me about _this_?" He asked, wondering when homoerotic feelings for his best friend began to develop. They seemed normal enough, their interactions never surpassing the boundary of brotherly closeness. It was possible that he had become blind to all the signs, his vision only accessible to their friendship. It wasn't that he wanted to call himself daft, but he just pondered if he was dismissing all the points of attraction. Until now, he hadn't been impervious to Naruto finding a beautiful, righteous woman to settle down with, then giving him a bundle of grandchildren that he could proudly flaunt to the world. This was a preconceived plan that he had in his head. He didn't think that the vague expectancy was so farfetched. He'd always imagined that his godson was attracted to curvaceous, bountiful women like him. He could have sworn that the sexuality and definite attraction to women was sealed. With his extensive collection of female eroticism in the household for written inspiration, he thought that Naruto had built a healthy attraction to women—for he would have instilled it into him. This evolution came as a shock to him, internally wounding him.

If Naruto was having these feelings, why didn't he tell him?

Unless, he had a fear of being called gay which he would probably deny. It was a hefty label that was limited him to one definition.

Maybe, he wasn't. Maybe, just maybe he was only attracted to Sasuke because had grown to love Sasuke after all his years of knowing him.

His initial reaction didn't recommend assaulting Naruto about it. He didn't even know how to approach this. All he knew was that this change phased his vivid imagination.

He floated back to reality and dually noted Naruto's paralysis. "Never," Sasuke finally answered, looking at Naruto smugly.

Annoyed, Naruto put his hands on Sasuke's shoulder, his grip becoming hard and crushing. Then the sophomore winced feeling his muscles wrangle from the overbearing pressure. "No, don't listen to Sasuke. I was going to tell you."

Jiraiya raised his eyebrows. "Eventually…" Naruto bit his lips innocently.

Then, it was strange for him to wrap his brain around, now, it was an entertaining, good-natured memory. He bore no malice against them for not spilling the beans sooner. He understood. Sasuke was like a step son to him and Naruto was trying to save the harsh transition in his mind from step son to potential son-in-law. He still appreciated him all the same—for making Naruto happy for so long. For being his distraction.

Putting his keys into his pocket, he walked into his home, predicting that Sasuke and Naruto would be on the couch fooling around—not foreseeing his early, impromptu return. But it was quite opposite. He was faced with Naruto settled on the edge of the couch, looking completely frazzled. "What's wrong?"

Naruto frowned, clicking the call log off of his phone. He turned to Jiraiya, his expression twisted in confusion. "I don't know where Sasuke is…"

Jiraiya raised a brow. "What do you mean? Shouldn't he be at home right about now?"

Naruto shook his head, looking back at his phone hoping for at least a text message. "No, he's not. I called. I left a message. I called his other emergency phone. I went to his house and nobody answered." His big doe eyes were embroiled in worry. "Do you think something happened to him?"

Jiraiya put down the newspaper. "I don't know. Do you think that something happened to him?"

Naruto bit his lip. "I don't know."

The long haired white man stepped closer, not really sure if he should be comforting the boy or telling him to shrug it off.

Naruto put his cellphone to his chin, strategically thinking. "I'm worried."

Jiraiya recognized the look on Naruto's face. It was copy of the same look he had when he had told him the entire truth about his parents. It was a quality mixture between sadness and ambivalence. It was one of the worst things that ever had to do in his life. The tears, the cries, the emptiness it was all real and he could see the light leave Naruto's eyes that light when Naruto was 12.

The same look flashed again in those cobalt spheres as he looked at his god father again. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't file a police report because he wasn't Sasuke's next of kin, and he couldn't get a search party because there wasn't anywhere they could search that wasn't already looked at. He could call Tsunade and ask her if she could look around but she wasn't even in the country now. She was on a trip out of the country, competing in one of her poker tournaments. She wouldn't be back until the championship finale.

He could barely sleep, eat. How could with fears that Sasuke could be sleeping at the bottom of the Pacific Oceans with the fishes and the plankton.

_Stop. You don't know that. _His mind solemnly whispered to him. _Your overactive imagination is beginning to strangle you._

Naruto mentally shook his head. No. His inner voice was wrong. At 15, he had suffered from so much already that he had no idea how to access his troubles.

He automatically assumed the worse, breaking the barrier of simple matters. The escalation gave way to over thinking and then vale of emotion… And he didn't want to stress over it; because knew that overthinking was a disease on its own. Maybe he ought to just go to bed. He didn't want the fatal overthinking to claim another victim.

...

Naruto had called his boyfriend a combination of 20 times over the course of the past 3 days. He didn't think it was overkill. He was worried. The boy hadn't shown up at school since Tuesday and he hadn't contacted him since the afternoon before.

Did something happen to him? Was he in trouble? Could he not reach him because of a wiry situation?

Naruto felt his nerves jump. He hadn't been so scared in a long time.

If something happened to Sasuke, he would go insane.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a way he could contact him besides his home and his cellphone.

He hadn't made a move in regards to law enforcement. He wasn't far away. One more day and then he was showing his up at the police station.

...

Ironically, in a twist of fate, Sasuke finally showed up to school the next morning, appearing to physically be intact, uniform principally orderly, and his emotional condition seemed awfully normal. When he saw him he didn't directly come near him but he did glide around the vicinity, taking cover near the large, shadowy willow tree that the school officials unconditionally worshipped. He seemed to be talking _normally_, telling every nosey student to "buck" off his natural bastardly tone. Finding the monster inside, callously staring at a red haired female, looking about ready to snap her neck when Naruto disrupted the crime with a text message.

_I'm coming over this afternoon. No excuses._

...

The day dredged Naruto with horrible consequences. He ignored everything—the teachers, Sai, and that strange group of Junior at the picnic table that always stared at him. The only thing he wanted to hear was the conversation that he was going to have with Sasuke right now.

"You were gone for an entire week. Where did you go?" Naruto asked, suspicion purposely creeping into his tone. "I couldn't reach you."

"We went on a cruise to Tahiti for my father's business," Sasuke said, evenly, feeling his eyes sketch out presumed boomerang that was soon to fire back at him.

He hadn't wanted to go. His father forced upon him, like he did many other things. It was his chance to flash the expansion of his domain. Everything that he had built everything that he had dreamed of as a teenager, even more. Establishing to his son that this could all be his too if he clung to his ambitions. In the past few months, he was in talks with Mikoto about expanding their airline company by enhancing it with an additional cruise line. That wasn't the end of their delivery. His father then proposed to Sasuke that when he became of age, that he could oversee that department of business and superintend it as his own branch. Should he accept, he would be responsible for the flourishing of this new business installment.

He would be financially secure. At the top of the chain. Respected not for his looks but because he constructed his own empire. It was a good idea. It was a really good idea until he remembered Naruto.

Building this business after he graduated meant leaving Naruto.

As they sailed on the accommodating, smooth waters, that was all his conscious screamed.

Leaving Naruto.

_Leaving_ Naruto.

He… didn't want to leave Naruto. It would be akin to ripping off the left side of his body and leaving it to rot.

When that reality hit him like a Mack truck, his voice miscarried. He shamefully looked away, feeling his hands clam and his head pound. He never answered his father on his proposal. He just quietly retreated to his assigned room on the first class ship. For the remainder of the days they were supposed to "relaxing, he could see the imprint of frustration on the older Uchiha, with little concern due to him.

He still couldn't stop thinking about Naruto.

**Naruto.**

The younger boy's sockless foot stepped forward once. "And you didn't think it would have been a genius idea to fucking tell me you were going away for the weekend, you fucking asshole?!"

He absorbed the careless but shameful vibes oozing from the older boy. He was utterly disgusted. How could do this to him and then pretend that nothing had even happened?

"I was worried about you! I thought you were injured, missing, or d—" Naruto quickly stopped and withdrew the thought as a picture of his parents flashed into his mind. "I didn't know what to think Sasuke. SO please, can you explain to me why you didn't think that it was important to share that very valuable piece of information _with me_?"

He stared into Sasuke's unforgiving eyes, observing his squared shoulders, and the manner his hands were cast in his slacks pockets. Hands _always_ in his fucking pockets, looking down on him like he wasn't worthy, like he wasn't good enough. The stance of superiority made him angrier, causing his heart arteries burst into a burbling inferno, lighting his body into an animated forest fire. This was not going to continue. _They_ weren't going to continue. Not like this.

"I said for you to tell me, you **prick**!" He screamed, fingers trembling from rage. His temples ached and his knees felt stiffen from the surge of disapproval.

He still didn't receive any audio from Sasuke.

And he lost it. Vexed, he drove his left fist into the corner of Sasuke's jaw, the collision causing a harsh crack on impact. The other man's head flew back, neck crackling from the brutal amount of force used. Not an ounce of remorse was depicted from his furious posture. He took advantage of the short time Sasuke would need to recover and used it to throw in another bruising hit. His knuckles throbbed but soon recovered from the deadly sting, trying to throw swing Sasuke's way.

He was determined to make Sasuke physically feel the inner turmoil exploding inside him even if it killed him.

When the third cycle came, Sasuke was able to disable him by way of his wrists.

Fighting the skirmish boy, he felt a flare up aggression, his teeth clenching then releasing with a, "Okay! I fucked up!"

"_You fucked up_?!" Naruto balked like he had been singed. "Sasuke, _you are_ a fuck up!"

The taller boy loosened his brutal, crushing grip a bit, signaling to Naruto that he had truly rocked the boat. He sadistically shone from the insult's wound, feeling his nerves tingle with an enormous amount of pride. That was it. _Hurt_. He wanted Sasuke to feel every shred of pain that he had caused him every second that he was away on that unannounced vacation. A pinch of guilt tugged at him but viciously ignored it because he selfishly wanted to revel in the reimbursement of damage.

Naruto's mind thrashed, flashes of red still blanking his system. "You don't trust me! You've never trusted me!"

"Naruto's that's not—"

"Then what is it Sasuke?!" Naruto tugged at his wrist, baring his teeth like a fearsome lion unleashed from its cage. "I know what it is… I'm not important enough for you to even tell…"

Sasuke eyes widened like he rebuked the idea but his mouth never caught the opportunity to correct Naruto. "Naruto, that's not true. You are… it's just..."

"I'm sick of this… I'm-I'm sick of you and I don't want to do this anymore," Naruto choked out, a faint honesty burning his insides.

Sasuke felt an indisputable lump build in his throat as he looked into the emotionally debilitated sapphire eyes. "_Naruto_, you don't mean that…"

"No, I do." He yanked his arms away from Sasuke and shoved him in the chest as hard as he could, effectively making him lose his footing. Stepping back, he made it apparent, his break with fury was short lived. In no time at all he was back to his hateful, angry self, his hostile eyes piercing Sasuke's like a Meiji-era katana.

"Stay away from me. I'm done," Not giving Sasuke another opening to explain, he mutely exited.

…

A few weeks in, Naruto realized that his anger had settled into inactivity. He could safely say that he was functioning better than he had been in the previous weeks. He was able to complete his homework and finish simple tasks such as watching a full television show, listen to music, and eat food without getting angry at Sasuke all over again. He managed to subdue the emotion, by thinking about stupid shit. Like how T-Rex's must have been so mad that they couldn't masturbate, thus sending them on an intense murdering rampage. After he was calmed, he took this time to focus on his homework and complete his classwork and even turn it in on time.

His drama with Sasuke dramatically lowered his grades but he wasn't really surprised. Relationships of any kind wore on children their ages. Parental, friendships, and romantic flings…

He knew that. It was just…

He couldn't picture himself without Sasuke—on any plane.

But he would have to because Sasuke always insisted on lying to him. That was something that he didn't have to put up with.

It would be best if they just took a break for now. A really long one.

…

Naruto had every right to be mad.

He worried him, and then practically just returned from a week-long lying escapade. Running from the truth, failing to explain to Naruto what really happened. Shockingly enough, he didn't think it made him liar. Just a person that had crossed paths of denial much too often to be labeled truthful. A long struggle that he definitely struggled with for a number of years. He planned on improving for the better. When the time came, he would come clean to Naruto, the only person outside of Itachi that really cared about what happened to him.

And until then, his love had every reason to be upset. For two weeks, he had been demonstrating the extent of his anger. Missed calls, no reply to his text messages, refusing to answer his front door, even clear avoidance in the hallways. Honestly, it infuriated him. He wanted to talk to him and work through this hiccup but this stubbornness was preventing anything. Even if he wanted to confess, Naruto's resistance made any type of reconciliation impossible.

Shutting his college prep notebook loudly enough to draw attention, Sasuke decided that he was going to end their long non-talking streak one way or another.

...

Jiraiya always talked about moving into a bigger house on the east side of town but Naruto knew better. It was all talk. A dream that he often looked forward to when he felt like he was pointlessly ambling through life. It was goal that he never put forth any effort toward but always held close to his heart. Naruto closely examined that—and then thought that he never wanted that to be him. He didn't want to have a dream and then spend the next 18 years talking about it. He wanted to _live_ it. Breathe it. Be it.

Not just have it be a weak, fleeting conversation.

Glimpsing at the shabby, in need of doing paint job, he stuck his key in the door when he heard the roar of a demanding engine blare outside driveway, near the mailbox.

A familiar shape shot out of the vehicle and raced up the driveway. The black haired blur madly dashed toward him, spiking his blood pressure. "I need to talk to you," No other than _Sasuke_ affirmed urgently, rushing up Naruto's front porch stairs two at a time.

He rudely turned his attention back to the door, ramming the key into the lock silently comparing it to him and Sasuke. Why couldn't they fit together like this? "Yeah? Well, I don't want to talk to you." Naruto muttered unfeelingly, about to open the door to his modest house when he was swiftly snatched up, the stitches in the fabric of his straining. Immediately offended by the barbaric way he was being handled, he growled in protest but it went unheard. He was slammed into the wood behind causing it to creak as the collar of his button up suddenly began to impede on his once unhampered air supply.

"I don't believe I gave you an option," Sasuke snapped, pulling Naruto's spine up taller, his dark eyes – sounding a possessive clap of thunder. The tan boy recoiled, struggling to free himself from the breech of personal space. He was did not succeed but that did stop him from trying every viable method. Clawing, pushing, idle hits to his body. Although, Sasuke the only person that he ever wanted to be close and intimate with in this world, right now, he didn't want to be anywhere near him. If that was what he had wanted, he would have initiated "this talk" himself by making himself available to Sasuke but obviously that wasn't the case. For the past few weeks, he had been purposely evading him on campus, ignoring his text messages and avoiding his phone calls.

What he did want was for Sasuke to disappear so he could be emancipated from the pit darkness that he constantly yo-yoed in and out of.

He acted on impulse, his outpour of insults surfacing. "Get your filthy—" And as those words left his mouth, not even a good case of hind sight would have helped see the punch that was came his way. His head shot to the side and Sasuke reeled it back in with a tug of the collar he had engaged in a death grip. He felt his nose cartilage thud painfully. His anger mushroomed as a fair amount of hot liquid drizzle down his chin.

Sasuke didn't care if Naruto was upset with him, if Naruto didn't want him; it was going to be a cold day in hell before he let him disrespect him. Not now, not ever, under any circumstances. Even if he had to hold him down, he was going to hear everything that he wanted to say from beginning to end.

"Shut the fuck up and listen," Sasuke snarled, his tone contributing to the black flames consuming what little light they had left inside them.

Naruto's mouth was shrouded in a deep frown, but he remained silent, his defiant eyes fixed on Sasuke's obtrusive gaze. "What I did—"

"Was FUCKED up," Naruto completed, not withholding the gallon of toxins pouring from his words. Sasuke glared, loosening his grip on Naruto. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I just want you to—"

Naruto jerked his knee up into Sasuke's groin, drafting all his strength into his calf. "No."

Sasuke doubled over in pain as Naruto watched as an uncaring bystander, making no move to help him. He straightened his blazer and his dress shirt, relieved that he was finally unrestrained by the crazy teen. "Naruto… what the fuck?!"

"My sentiment exactly," He spat unforgivingly as he Sasuke situated his hand on his knee. "I don't want anything to do with you. Why is that such a shocker to you?" Naruto asked, his insistent glare shattering Sasuke's ruptured confidence. He seemed to take deep offense to the comment, slapping his hand beside Naruto's head, trying to vent some of the anger he felt without adding any more injuries to Naruto's already ailing body. Even though he wanted to knock some sense into him, he couldn't. He swore that he came here merely to talk and he was going to keep that promise to himself.

"Because you're not telling the truth!" Sasuke shouted inches away from his face. His breaking point approach steadfastly. Seeing a spark expand to an entire flame in Naruto's silently communicative cerulean eyes, he calmed, thinking he didn't need this to escalate. He didn't intend on fighting with Naruto, he just wanted to plead his case to him in a civil manner. Even though they rarely did civil—it was about time they dished out some chivalry. "I know that's not what you really want." He erected his back as much as he could, yet still feeling the grueling shocks of pain vibrate in his scrotum.

"How do you know what I really want?! Much less care!" Naruto yelled, exasperatedly, his cheeks flushing a bright red. "The only person you care about is yourself! I know that and you know that!" Naruto wildly revealed, the physical exertion wearing on his gruff voice. He felt a roll of emotion brandish his soul. Naruto had no idea how Sasuke could be so selfish to someone that he commonly titled as his 'boyfriend.'

Sasuke felt the wool get pulled from his eyes from the first time and he felt incredibly stupid. He never knew that Naruto felt that way. "If you really believe that than you really are an idiot." He brushed his bangs from his the tips of his long eyelashes. The soft caring gesture took Naruto's anger down a notch and he reassessed his belt of words to Sasuke.

"Then why do you do this to me, Sasuke? What do I do to deserve this?" Naruto's question went unanswered but Sasuke's repentant silence was enough for him.

The blackout of words made him speculate if he should tell Naruto the whole truth about why his father carried him there.

If he did—

"I—" Naruto began.

His head snapped up, Naruto's voice clogging brain waves.

"Hate me?" Sasuke curiously asked, rubbing his thumb over his lover's frozen lips.

Naruto stopped, looking up into his eyes. "No," He answered rather uneasily, eyebrows furrowed. "I hate what you do," He managed to explain with believable honesty. His shaky voice was rigged with precariousness. However, he managed to hold it together.

"Me too…" Sasuke whispered in way of revelation.

Naruto's huge cobalt eyes broadened with the statement. This had never… he had always limited his accountability to circumstances. Never had he let something negative reflect on himself…

Was Sasuke acknowledging that he had made a mistake?

Sasuke looked down into his eyes and remembered why they haunted his dreams once vivid pleasant dreams endangering the health of his psyche. Effortlessly, they were able to transfer their unspoken emotions of fear, anguish, and affection… Sasuke succumbed to the need to be closer to his blond, virtually sealing Naruto in the position he was in, making contact inevitable. He lowered his hand from beside Naruto's earlobe and raked his small nose and then his soft supple lips. No longer denying himself the tangency he believed he so richly deserved, he stole a needy kiss from his younger half. A sweet coppery taste flooded the heat of his mouth, coating his senses all the while blurring Naruto's.

Naruto's breath hitched as he half-heartedly returned the sign of affection. A little lightheaded, nevertheless still tingling with the reminisce of anger. He slowly felt all unfavorable emotions become a colorless gray. The warm tongue swiped his bottom lip and he volitionally became subservient to penitence, that he never knew existed, encompass him.

Ineffectively showering Naruto with a cluster of love, he slowly weaned him of the lovely touch.

A stillness entered as their eyes consecutively engrossed in a tug of war neither of them were willing to acquiesce.

Foreheads pressed together, Naruto felt his chest cave into his belly at the ominously dark feeling gnawing at his organs. "Tell me."

Sasuke heavily sighed, the hot air fanning over Naruto's chin. The tan teen felt Sasuke shake his head and whisper, "I. I can't."

The emotional drainage feeling like he had been whacked straight in the cheek, Naruto frowned deeply. Jerking away looking deep into Sasuke's eyes, his hand roaming up to the base of the youngest Uchiha's neck. His fingers curled as the pain was made visible on beautiful lips, his fluorescent blue eyes screaming, 'Please trust me.'

"Did something bad happen? Why can't you tell me about it?" Naruto asked, all the negative fight gone from his demeanor. The empathetic, caring shift considerably worsened Sasuke's mood. Was it possible to lie to that face and _not directly _go to hell? The gods must have had some type of formality where he would be punished accordingly for such crimes against humanity. Hopefully, for his sake, he hoped the day he would be judged by the higher power would dawn on him sooner rather than later.

Sighing, Sasuke drew him in by his neck, his lips rightfully landing on his forehead. "I just… I just don't want you to worry about it, okay?" He dauntingly pulled back and surveyed his significant other's.

Naruto's eyebrows pulled together, suggesting that he had emphatically worried him. Shortly after, those fragile lips molded into the shape of his name, releasing it through the piano from his cords in the fashion that Sasuke always dreaded. "Sas—" _You __**can**__ trust me_. He quickly covered his mouth over Naruto's, silencing his words, struggling to crush his guilt. Keeping the gesture short and sweet, he moved back, trying to enforce some willpower but that attempt was botched when he realized the kiss only added to Naruto's anxious expression.

He cursed, knowing that he was going to turn this into a difficult pursuit for the truth.

Naruto saw the battle brewing, knowing that he was losing horribly. Most likely, the debate didn't involve him at all and knew that he didn't want to tell him.

Sasuke looked away, knowing he would feel even more pathetic if he didn't. He took a step back feeling like if he fled, maybe all the questions, all the secrets would go away. Maybe they would start from the beginning when there were no mistakes made.

"I'll talk to you later, ok?" Sasuke said, scurrying back to his car, ignoring the pull on his sleeve and the quaint, "Wait," that called after him.

...

He remembered the dark call of the night and how the hateful moon light devoured him whole. 'What do you mean father was involved, Itachi?' Sasuke shivered like a frantic Arctic chill had swept his fine hairs erecting on his skin.

'I meant exactly what I said, Sasuke.' His brother answered sternly, his dark eyes hardening.

'But how? He—' Sasuke mumbled.

'Sasuke, I already explained it to you three times.'

A hush settled over them. 'Does Jiraiya know?'

'No… I don't think so. Neither does Naruto. It's an Uchiha secret that I'm sure father wouldn't want to ever get out.'

'Do I, do I tell him?'

Itachi fell silent for a few seconds, his emotive tone dropping all abrasiveness. 'That's your choice Sasuke. Whether you do or not would be completely up to you. I just advice, if and when you do. Please be gentle. Naruto's been very good to you. He deserves that courtesy.'

...

Naruto didn't want to let Sasuke go.

They had already built an irrationally vast kingdom with him that would be imminently destroyed if they were to separate.

Despite all the secrets and the half-truths, he wanted Sasuke to be a part of his life. Because he always had been. Even though Sasuke could be his best friend but also his worst enemy, he didn't want what they to disappear.

Sasuke was the person that he confided all his hidden truths. He remembered the day when he finally told Sasuke what happened to his parents. It wasn't a conversation that he had foresaw to have that day. It was a particularly stressful day with many annoying trials. He received his first high school scale project and got into his argument with a senior named, Kakazu, he wasn't in the mood for anything. Not even a bowl of ramen would have loosened the climate. He wouldn't tag himself completely 'despondent' but he did have a pretty fucking horrible day.

His general feel of finally being in high school utterly repulsed him. The concept was already too stressful for him. And he hadn't exactly dreamed of the other four years to progressing this way. For the first time, he leaned on Sasuke a little and voiced his intangible frustrations. Sasuke listened, rather closely actually. And he told him that his journey in his life would be hard. After rambling on for a few minutes uninterrupted, he reached the subject of his biological parents, and how he longed to have them by his side. Then, Sasuke, albeit hesitantly, asked how they died. His boyfriend's beautiful eyes were caked in so much concern and interest that he couldn't refuse. He struggled to resolve the inner battle between his heart and his conscience that seemed to be rupturing his entire existence. He didn't know whether to tell Sasuke or just dodge the topic like he had been doing for a matter of years. If he ignored this, it would expand the distance between them. He didn't want it to widen—he wanted to unite them. Every stable relationship needed rapport and trust. He needed to _trust_ Sasuke for once. Finalizing his decision, he placed his hand on Sasuke's knee and told him exactly what happened. The clock in the corner ticked as he spoke evenly, able to remain consistently drawn up. But when the sorrow built up, his throat constricting, he began to feel foolish. He was crying. _In front of Sasuke_. He never thought he would ever feel more embarrassed if he had been seen caught with his pants down by an entire crowd. This vulnerable, naked feeling was new and he didn't know what to do. He was frightened and distraught. As luck would have it, Sasuke knew exactly what to do and exactly how to do it. And he didn't think that an alternate planetary universe would have delivered the same element of grace Sasuke did. The way he lifted his face and firmly held his shoulder and said, '_you're __**not**__ alone_,' made Naruto fall for him even harder that day.

...

Naruto walked up to the gate of Sasuke's property and was happy to find the gate opened already opened. He preferred this. It meant less work for him in the end. Plus, it would add an element of surprise to their tweaked relationship. The last time that Sasuke invited him over, they didn't really spend that long together. They were limited to a small chat before he went straight home. His parents were expected back earlier than usual, meaning that he had to leave even earlier for Sasuke's benefit.

He saw Sasuke's expensive Lexus parked in the loop driveway told him that he had already came home after school.

Great. The night was relatively early so they would have time for other activities…

He was about to sneak up and attack the doorbell from behind the bush but was stopped by sight of feminine curves stationed on the doorstep. Naruto felt his stomach lodge into his throat as he sucked in all the air he could so he could look again without throwing up. He craned his neck to the leader of the cheerleading squad, Samui in front of Sasuke, a rare smile edging her lips usually emotionless expression. She held her tote casually at her knees, stepping closer to his boyfriend… Sasuke spoke but Naruto couldn't make out what he was saying because of the distance. All he could hear was the low voice that many females presumed he was speaking to them seductively. She seemed to be one of them. Naruto felt his anger spike as she nodded, her blonde bob bouncing erratically, her cerulean eyes sparkling.

Why was the most highly regarded, most beautiful girl from school at Sasuke's house?

Sasuke pulled out his house keys, wrangling with the lock.

And Naruto panicked, shaking with fear and regret.

He didn't have to ask himself why Sasuke was bringing a girl over to his _house_, into his _room_. The answer was obvious, so he didn't have to torture himself digging inside for an answer.

Sasuke was… Naruto felt a ball huddle in his chest cavity and obscure his throat.

He questioned everything Sasuke had ever told him. The reason he didn't want to stay past 6 o'clock was because he was spending time with other females.

Naruto felt his head roll with pain. How long had this been going on?

How many girls had he done this with?

He tried to grasp the situation with but it seemed like a handful. It was especially overwhelming to think that your life for the past year and some, was a lie. After debating with himself, he didn't want to confront Sasuke, though. He would look stupid, never mind crazy. He wouldn't be surprised if she would draw the conclusion that he was an insane stalker his delusions of grandeur that was accusing Sasuke of ruining their "relationship." Currently, more than ¾ of the school didn't know that they were together. He doubted that she was any exception.

Stupid. This was stupid. Yep, Sasuke was always making him look stupid.

He would love return the favor and humiliate Sasuke but it wasn't worth the risk of humiliating himself.

All he knew was that Sasuke didn't want to be with him that much was clear and he didn't need a louder signal or a clarified explanation. He just needed this rusty token: observing as they went inside.

_Soaking it in his porous brain, he died. _

...

He didn't even have the dignity or the kindness to introduce him as friend to his parents. He just completely barred him from meeting them completely.

He never even had the decency to tell him why. And whenever he decided to pushed the issue a little, he only received horrible backlash. Like he wasn't to expect better from him.

So, he stopped. He was tired of begging to become someone important to Sasuke. There wasn't anything he could say and he could make Sasuke proud to be with him. It was aspirant thinking and not something that would necessarily make him happier in the near future.

"Hey, what about that pussyface Uchiha brat?" Naruto was cut from his thoughts, Hidan, the school delinquent's gruff voice. It felt like yesterday when he accidentally stumbled on him in the after school prayer session. However, it was nearly six months ago. Ever since then, he had been harassing him continually for those six months. Each time, Naruto skillfully turned him down, especially on account of Sasuke, who complained about Hidan causing trouble on campus. Usually minor things like wearing his uniform incorrectly and causing constant disruptions and disturbances in all the buildings.

Naruto regarded Sasuke's feelings and kindly reminded Hidan that God probably wouldn't take so kindly to his homosexual adventures. The only reply he got was, "Don't try to use that bullshit."

Each time, Hidan the heathen, ignored his refusals and vowed to get what he wanted, at any cost. And each time Naruto rolled his eyes because he figured that when it came to him, this junior was _all_ talk.

He wasn't trying to test his patience or his wrath. He just didn't feel obligated to give in because he feared him.

He never paid much heed to Hidan, even when slipped his phone number into his Chemistry workbook. It was all games to him.

Naruto, of all people, didn't think that he would ever be using his number, or willingly be in the same room with him—on an unused lab table, in an empty unmonitored classroom. Until today, that is.

Sasuke betrayed him in the worst way possible with his surreptitious unfaithfulness—so he was going to do the same. If their bond was so worthless to him then maybe he shouldn't value it either.

In the event, he remembered to pack condoms and lube into his bag for safe keeping. He didn't know a thing about this guy's sexual history. He clearly boasted about his declared sexual conquests. Whether they were true or not, he could never be too careful.

The thought that he was actually doing this was wild and kind of stunning, but that feeling didn't prevent Naruto from internally frowning about what was said about Sasuke. All the highbrow individuals such as Samui weren't aware of their relationship but all the underground sleezeballs, like Sai and Hidan were? Naruto sucked up his irritation and coldly said, "What about him?"

"Aren't you with him, fuckin' with him or whatever?" He asked, uncaringly, his violet eyes shining cruelly.

A slow smile wiggled onto Naruto's lips as he repressed a large smile. "Aw, would you feel bad?" Naruto chuckled darkly at the admittance of literally squashing Sasuke's feeling. Just like he had squashed his. "If we were?"

"Fuck no. Just don't want you to pussy out later."

"How considerate of you," Naruto said in a low, sardonic voice, holding Hidan's face in his hands, motivating the older boy snatch his hips with not much needed might and pull him to the edge of the table. Instinctually, Naruto wrapped his legs around his hips.

Hidan appreciated the acknowledgement, displaying a toothy grin. "Niceee."

Naruto blessed him with a similar smile. Hidan felt his cock twitch. Naruto was so fucking beautiful. "Don't worry about him. Because I'm not worried about him," Naruto whispered, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Hidan ravenously licked his lips. "Now that's what I like to fuckin' hear."

...

Noon the next school day, Naruto was shifting in his locker, reaching for a pile of notes that he was much too lazy to properly put away the afternoon before.

Sasuke viewed Naruto fugitively through a batch of people dispersing through the hallways. He thought that he should talk to him, seeing as he didn't speak to him the night before. It was strange enough, but he didn't think much of it. Maybe Naruto was busy with school work and didn't have time to contact him.

When he was approximately 5 feet away, he witnessed the tall delinquent named Hidan come in range of Naruto and lewdly slap his ass for whomever wanted to see.

Naruto shrieked out of surprise before looking both sides to find the grinning culprit. His face softened and Sasuke felt his stomach flip.

"See you, later sweet cheeks," he rather affectionately called.

Naruto blushed, calling out, "Later!"

Sasuke marched up, his temples pounding and his chest thudding with a barrage of hate that he was more than ready to fire out. "What the _fuck _was that?"

Naruto spun to meet the eyes that were fired by the match of hell. Suddenly, he much less content about Sasuke confronting him so brashly.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked, practically shitting on the Uchiha's feelings.

Sasuke suddenly turned into a raging bull as he "You're letting him fucking touch you like that?! I didn't know you were like that Naruto."

Naruto swung his book bag over his shoulder carelessly. "Stop being such an ass, Sasuke and a fucking hypocrite! When you're doing the same fucking thing!"

Sasuke's mouth stilled and Naruto took it as admission of guilt. "You didn't think I knew did you? Who is she?! Your new fucking booty call?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, clenching his fists into tight balls, angrily ramming an ax of detest into Naruto's eyes with his unusually sharp glower.

"Here! Since you've been fucking her, I guess you'll need these." He reached into bag and retrieved a handful of condoms throwing them in Sasuke's face.

"Better than safe than sorry mutha fucker. Make sure you use them even if they are a size too big." Naruto sneered, steaming with disappointment. Unbeknownst to Naruto, free-passing students were accumulating around them began to jeer at the demeaning insult that he said loud for anyone that wanted to hear.

A second barely ticked by as Sasuke reached his breaking point, planting his fist as hard as he could into the center of Naruto's face.

He'd be damned if he was going to be humiliated by his idiot of a boyfriend.

Naruto was electrocuted into submission by the powerful punch. He didn't truly expect Sasuke to hit him in front of the gathering crowd. Sasuke had an awful temper that no one really knew the extent of. He didn't know that he would unleash something so private in public. He concluded that his prediction was very wrong. Standing up straight from his slouched position on the wall and swiped his mouth in order to rid the blood blotting his lips. As felt an after spark of pain birth in his upper lips and the redness blossom on his cheek, he also felt like he gave birth to a whole new pit of anger.

He retaliated with full body strength, falling into step, thrusting the brunt of his bare knuckles into Sasuke's unsuspecting jaw. He was shoved back from the sheer force but that didn't prevent him taking a body shot, a clear uppercut to Naruto's ribs. He curled up in anguishing pain, clutching his middle as a brutal crunch resonated in the eerily silent hallway space.

Naruto looked up, face partially bloodied. "Why are you so mad? Cause I'm telling the truth?!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Sasuke hollered, plunging into full attack mode and tackling Naruto to the plain, waxed floor. He housed himself on top of Naruto's hips, completely immobilizing him from escaping his wrath. Evidence of the devil sprung from his deadly eyes as he growled fearsomely at the boy. If Naruto was going to cheat on him with low-down, disgusting bastards then he was going to pay the hefty price that those consequences carried. With that in mind, he didn't hold back as he dispatched a batch of cheap shots to Naruto's defenseless cheek bones. Naruto hissed in pain, feeling the blood thudding in his head become released through his nostrils. As Sasuke pulled back for a particularly hard punch, Naruto accepted the risk and distributed a left hook that was so powerful; Sasuke was dislodged from his person. He took the valid window of fortuity, and climbed on Sasuke, his weight pinning him in place as he uninterruptedly bashed both fists into his face alternatively, watching blood splatter uselessly around the white floors as he felt his knuckles become raw.

The bell sang above the commotion but no one budged. They were frozen with horror as the two boys blood was decorated across the floor, both airing their house of dirty laundry for the whole world to see.

Naruto needn't not worry about the cat getting out of the bag, because anyone who didn't know about them was clearly informed now.

Sasuke felt a dull aching in his chest and a persistent stinging on his upper lip. He felt Naruto relentlessly pound into his eye socket, harming the bone structure. The pain was excruciatingly unbearable and he needed it to end or he was going to need to have corrective surgery to his eye. Every hit felt like it was tipping off another earthquake in behind his skull. He wasn't going to let his younger and physically smaller boyfriend win this scrimish. If anything, he was going to be the one to call this a victory. He grabbed the younger boy by his blazer collar and flung him into the nearby wall, his head powerfully thudding into the cement block walls, incapacitating him. He crawled onto his feet, dragging Naruto's nearly lifeless body with him. Blood pouring down his face, hair matted to the coppery mixture, he slugged his 'boyfriend' once for good measure and watched as him fall out onto the floor, nearly lifeless.

He witnessed him attempt to turn onto his side and he quickly corrected him by pushing him onto his back. He then sat on top of Naruto trapping his neck into his rather large hands. He felt the windpipe become nearly close under his lethal grip. The anger consumed his as he added another tier of strength to his transfixed hands. He was aware of the redness swarming Naruto's normally flawless skin but he didn't care. Wierdly enough, he thought it beautiful. He understood the color as Naruto feeling the infliction of pain that he was distributing. All other thoughts such as those of murder, overcompensation and punishment were far out of his orbit. He was in a different dimension while his body remained here gradually draining the life from his lover. He heard him struggle to capture a useable breath. But it didn't stop him, nor did Naruto helplessly clawing at his hands, the exertion pulling on his bruised and battered face.

He was going to destroy him—fucking disable him.

Naruto didn't know how much he could take before he passed out. All but begging the for the older boy to stop, he kept squeezing like his intention was to—

He stared onto his determined stonehearted, eyes wondering if he ever meant anything to him at all. He had already felt himself slip into a second of unconsciousness as everyone watched on, much too fearful to interfere with their terror. A strict round of the bystander effect struck all, even the most brute males in the crowd. Not one savior plotted to do the right thing and try to save Naruto. They feared if they did, they would come into the Sasuke's direct line of fire.

Just as Naruto began to close his eyes and take to the darkness, two males, a teacher's aide and an AP came and restrained Sasuke, capturing him by his elbows. Essentially freeing Naruto from his approaching death, they checked to see if he was responsive after the impromptu rescue. Yanking up the reluctant boy up and away from the coughing Naruto, they made sure his footing was sounder than his mindset. They wanted to eliminate the chance that he would try to make another harebrained attempt at Naruto's life.

Said ailing blond rolled onto his side, his hand printing a mixture of their blood. His vision realigned from the cosmic blur that it had been when Sasuke had been choking the life from him.

Weak but still able to stand, Naruto stood up took a left jab right into Sasuke's jaw, not contained by any of the population. The Uchiha crossly snarled at the blow, feeling his inner demon rev into a hateful oblivion.

Naruto felt little relief from the hit. The boy that he thought cared about him just tried to use all his might to try to kill him, with a fucking audience no less! How dare he?! He suspected that Sasuke was batshit crazy but he never thought that he would take it this far.

Knowing that he couldn't get away, Sasuke did the next best thing. He spit the blood swishing about his salvia onto Naruto's cheek, a slew of blood reddening his already bloodied cheeks, branding a rare, evil smile that Naruto had never seen from him before.

Throwing aside all indication of thought, Naruto ran at him, ready to do him in when he was abruptly hauled away by one of the few security guards.

His fury, bubbled, melting, spoiling all the good in him, the fermentation making his soul rot. Sasuke was poison. Sasuke was _his_ poison.

He fought to get away from the hold as the security guard they carried his relatively light body down the hallway. Even though they were taking him in the opposite direction of his target, he still planned to communicate every scrap of aversion burning his heart.

"Wait until I get my hands on you! I'm going to make you wish you were dead you fucking excuse for a _human being_! You're less than scum! You're _nothing_! Nothing, you hear me?! NOTHING! You'll always be nothing!" Naruto screeched, his deadly voice causing the students that rarely even saw an argument to flinch under the protection of their skin. Even the thoroughly trained security guards appeared horrified Naruto didn't see them. He only saw Sasuke's eyes frighteningly darken refuse to budge as they put handcuffs on him, animosity swimming in his dark grey eyes.

But this wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

...

Shortly after their outrageous fight, they had their faces patched up by duo of school nurses in separate rooms, the principal spoke to them, giving them a host of options. They could either spend 5 days out of school suspension or they could write a formal letter of apology aside with an additional binding signature that promised they would never partake in violence again on campus again. In the future, if they failed to adhere they would both be arrested and therefore booked with law enforcement. Although, grudging, they both choose the less damaging option, and wrote the letter in the in the supervised school suspension room in deafening silence.

Sasuke shouldn't have been shocked by the sight of his father returning home early from work. This wasn't the first time he had cut his tedious job short to relay a message or field of warning to him. This time couldn't have been any different. He was most likely notified about the incident at school and come home to sand the issue over with him. He was seated by the dining table near the front of exquisite front door, calmly sipping a cup of piping hot coffee. Sasuke's eyes trailed the neatly folded _LA Times_ newspaper near the placemat and the fact that his father neglected to use a coaster on the bare polished wood, regarding them as bad signs.

"Your mother told me that you were caught fighting in school with another student," His father said dully, his dark energy electrifying the electrons in the room and frying the neutrons in his brain. After the physically exhausting fight with Naruto, he didn't really want to incur his father's wrath after such a long day. If it was required of him, he would surrender the car, his debit card and the keys to father's study if it meant the he wouldn't have to have this damaging conversation

"Your conduct in school is of the utmost importance and if you can't seem to hold it together at this institution of learning, I will move you to another one. Is that clear?"

He was surprised that his father wasn't angrier considering he was the parent he got his arrogant, raging temper from.

Sasuke weakly nodded, feeling the sting of disappoint burst inside.

"Better yet, how about I arrange a meeting with the student that you fought so you can iron out all your issues?" He silently wondered where he had gone wrong with this young man. He knew he spent too much time away from home, and that left a small area for parenting and a huge area for error. As his eyes flittered over the numerous, seemingly violently inflicted injuries on his son, he knew that this was probably a cry for help, better said, attention.

His youngest son was trapped in his older brother's shadow. It cauterized his character, assassinating his hope for a future. He would never feel successful or different. He just felt like the spare son, created in case Itachi had failed to impress him or irrevocably shamed the family name. This feeling of disposability must have shaped an imaginable well of pent up he had a well of pent up anger and aggression that must have made it hard for him to fuction.

Accessing that aspect of this hairy situation wasn't even the hardest part. That had to be that this was all his fault.

This day was going to be that he would be the first step to getting more involved in his son's life. Adjudicating, the incident carefully, he thought that this was his real wake up call.

But when he looked at his youngest son, his eyes had expanded to the size of Jupiter at the proposal. "No."

"No? Why not?" He glared at his son, his features resembling a stone slab. Did this boy really think that he was in a position to negotiate or make demands? If this is what he wanted, then that is what he would do. He didn't have a choice in the matter. Even though he hadn't racked up any father of the year awards, it didn't mean that he didn't have designation of his life. He was still very much his father, regardless of their broken past and mangled present.

Sasuke saw the displeasure his father wore and knew he had to think quick on his feet. His father was extremely hard-headed and he wouldn't want to take no for an answer. It was always that way since he could remember. He had to make his father, Fugaku Uchiha think that the meeting was something that was unnecessary, better yet, make him think that he thought of such things already. "I-It's already resolved and this meeting would already be rehashing the argument." Sasuke held firm, veiling the inner terror and the horrible voice whispering in his ear, 'this is the end.'

"I have spoken with the other student already and we've ironed out our issues. This won't happen again."

Fugaku didn't move, nearly making Sasuke think that he wasn't even breathing. He flinched, silently praying to some unknown deity that his father believed his bullshit story. He _needed_ to believe it.

After the longest seconds of his short life, Fugaku finally spoke. "It better not. Because if I hear of something like this again. There will be a price to pay, Sasuke."

Sasuke rigidly nodded as he robotically left to his bedroom, knowing that he wasn't completely out of the woods yet. Not until he broke the news to Naruto…

...

He had a hunch that Naruto would be here. When he needed to clear his head, he came here to this particular park. The park his parents would frequent before he was born.

Naruto was scorned—he could see it on his face, read it on his expression, and taste it on his tongue.

He was quiet on the stone slab, staring into space, not giving him any physical acknowledgeement, his attention barely swayed. He continued to stare into the melancholy sky with disinterest, whilst his boyfriend stood in the distance, hands in his pocket.

From where he sat, he could already hear the slew of suggestive demands screaming from Sasuke's mind: _'Go inside, it's about to rain you idiot. Do you want to get sick? It's not like you can take care of yourself. Tch, as usual you'd be my responsibility.'_

Although, he never said a thing, Naruto knew he was thinking it.

Over the days, their anger had appeared to dissipate, just as their wounds had nicely begun to heal and their faces stopped looking like traumatic road work.

"Who was she?" Naruto asked, the confrontational spark gone before it ever came.

"She's an acquaintance," Sasuke muttered as thunder rolled in beside him. "Nothing of importance. I just wanted to prove to my parents I can maintain a friendship."

"And I warm your bed from time to time and I've never even gotten to be in the same room with your parents." Naruto could sense the stare on him harden but he wasn't intimidated. "There's a wildly unfair double standard here."

There was prickling silence that neither of them were optimistic coming into contact with. Being brave, along with a roll of loud thunder.

"Who is he?" Sasuke muttered in a low, dark tone.

"We've never fucked." Naruto admitted, still not revealing the nature of their relationship to the incredulous boy. He wanted to come clean completely but he didn't think that Sasuke could handle it.

He never went further than kissing the excited junior. He couldn't. And surprisingly, Hidan wasn't pissed about it. He figured from the start Naruto wouldn't have been able to betray 'the Uchiha brat.' With a blindingly true smile, he gave him the option to hit his sheets anytime, Uchiha bound or not.

Naruto did feel a little stupid that Sasuke wasn't literally cheating on him but he still thought his revenge was justified.

What he did was still wrong.

"I **said**, _who_ is he?" Sasuke unintentionally roared in a low, vicious tone. To his alarm, it didn't make Naruto flinch in the slightest.

"I don't know." The blankness in his eyes and the deadness in his tone told Sasuke that it was nothing other than the truth.

"Why can't I meet your parents?" Naruto asked, the emotion already trekking back into his timbre. Based on the adverse vibes radiating from Naruto, Sasuke perceived the subject as sensitive. Feeling his jaw lock, he looked down finally the tint of the shame that he knew he should.

"Is it because you don't want to find out about us?" Naruto gently asked still not receiving a reply. "Because I'm a boy and it would ruin their image of you?" Naruto appeared disgusted by the close-minded talk leaving his throat. He wiped his mouth, not stopping until he got something from his so-called boyfriend.

"Or is it because I'm not as affluent or born from influential blood like you? Because I'm not good enough for you?" Again taking Sasuke's silence for an admission to the truth, he felt tears wet his cheeks as they rushed out at the speed of light. He quickly brushed his tears away and stood up from the small monument, making the courageous choice to finally face Sasuke.

"I-I know I'm not good enough for you but c-can't you ac-accept me for who I am?" Naruto sobbed, unwitting that his eyes were a faucet of his overpowering emotions that finally received their outlet. Sasuke didn't know how much pain he had been carting around or how it burdened his footsteps, made him feel as if he was sinking into the planet's center with every blasted step.

He just wanted him to understand. Just to understand why things were this way. "It's not my fault that—" He stopped, feeling his throat ball with sorrow.

Like the sky was reading the waves of sadness, in tune with his tears, the heavens opened up, released a gush of free water onto their freestanding bodies. The sudden sprout masked Naruto's liquid freshly coating Naruto's face productively creating all the tears he would ever need.

Naruto insisted. "It's not my fault…"

"It's not because you're a boy or because you're not rich. It's not that at all…" Sasuke shook his head lowly, water flicking off the ends of his drenched hair.

"Then why Sasuke? Why?" He said, just short of yelling.

"Because…" Sasuke started hesitantly, licking his dry lips. "Before your parents died, my father invested in the oil company that killed your parents to prevent bankruptcy and keep it afloat… They gave him discounted jet fuel for his airplanes and he didn't want that to end. When he had found what he had done—what they had done, he was devastated... He still feels responsible for their death…Itachi found out and he told me. My father doesn't know I know but if he saw you, I know he would pity you and then he would forbid me to see you… And I didn't want that to happen," Sasuke grimly explained to the beautiful Namikaze before him, indignity seeping into his knotted stomach. He knew Naruto was crushed by the devastating news. He should have summoned enough courage to look into Naruto's eyes but his cowardice prevented anything of the sort from happening. The despair buried in his blue eyes would be the one thing that would permanently ruin him. But even that was impossible. He was _already_ ruined beyond repair.

That didn't mean he should throw all his cards all out on the table. His father was too close to finding out about them. He couldn't take the risk, even if he wanted to.

"Sas'ke. No," Naruto mumbled, already feeling the impact of his Sasuke's unsaid words.

"I don't think that we should…" He started, knowing that the message was sent before it was even complete.

"Sasuke, we don't have to tell them. We—" _can't keep living this way._

"Naruto," The finality and the absolution wound into his name caused him to quake violently with dread. "We can't… I don't… I don't want you to get hurt any more than you already are."

'_You deserve better than this. Better than me'_

"But Sas-ss-ke," He sobbed out, realizing the light strokes on his face only made him cry harder.

"I can't give you what you're looking for…" _What you deserve…_

The peppering rain in combination with the tears puddled on his love's chin, made Sasuke wither into a pile of dust. The pain etched into the echo of the painful sobs wracked him, causing his knees to nearly give out from underneath him. He wished that he could give a different result so Naruto would be happy, so they could be happy...

He trapped Naruto in his embrace, trying to find a way to not feel like he was going to implode from the inside out. "You'll be okay…" _without me_.

He shook his head into Sasuke's shoulder, knowing that he wouldn't be true. Without Sasuke that he would crumble into nothing but a coreless shadow. Back to where he was. Who he was. The nobody that had nothing.

But Sasuke didn't know that. And if his voice hadn't left with the sunshine, he would have told Sasuke all the reasons this was wrong.

Knowing that this was the last time, he pulled Sasuke close; soaking in his scent and letting himself feel the weight of his touch.

A new wave of sadness shrouded him as he realized he would be alone all over again.

It became true as Sasuke pulled away, slightly linking his fingers, apology on his lips, regret intertwined in his actions.

Another sob attacked him and without another word, Sasuke was gone.

...

He partially did this to prevent disappointing his parents but he mainly didn't want to disappoint Naruto. Leading him on into believe that there could be a stable relationship between them. And he cared about Naruto enough to not cause more pain than he was already suffering. He had to leave this alone. He and Naruto hadn't been together that long romantically. He couldn't have been as attached as he thought he was. He just didn't like change. Like when Itachi moved out after he purchased a new house upstate California, nearly 400 miles away. The reason he didn't take it well because everything would be different then he knew it to be. At the time, he didn't think that he would have anyone to confide in, freely talk with like he did, that is until Naruto walked back into his life. He could handle Itachi getting a job as an executive for the family business in training but he would be able to handle Naruto not being around.

He pinned after him; his touch, his kiss, his closeness, sharing his life with him but he knew he couldn't have that. Not anymore. He had been selfish for some time and he didn't think that Naruto needed to be subjected to such deceit for another second. He wanted to impress his father with his wit and his intelligence, not with his life decisions. If he had the option to tell his parents about the Naruto, he would have. He didn't care that he would come across "gay." He didn't care what any commoners thought. Only Naruto. He didn't care if he disgraced their heritage or defiled their name, he just wanted to remain committed to Naruto. To his disappointment, he would have to reveal that Naruto—the focal point of Fugaku's nightmares—was the apple of his eye.

Sometimes, he just… He wished… things were different.

Whenever they could, they would eat lunch together and talk. However, he often had student council meetings during the week, hence making it difficult for him to meet Naruto under their special Sakura tree for lunch when they had planned it. He knew that even though they weren't together any longer, Naruto would have still willing to share a meal with him as friends. Still, he didn't say anything.

He wouldn't yield to these weak feelings he was having. It was sappy and pathetic.

He needed to swallow the _bitter_, distasteful pill and let it digest. _They were over_ and he needed to _accept_ that.

Even though he didn't want Lunch dragged on, the lunch clattered with fluid, talking, moving human bodies. He hadn't anything to eat all afternoon but he wasn't even hungry. The only thing he wanted to consume was a forkful of Naruto… When he glimpsed up clearly distracted by thoughts, he saw Naruto suddenly tear his gaze away, as if he was mortified he had caught him looking. His blue eyes returned to foodless table, visibly dejected. He was immediately tempted to go over and talk to him to see what was up. He didn't care that this wasn't the best possible idea. Following the flash of impulse, he began to slide out of the seat, when he was rudely intercepted by… Hidan.

Like a replacement, he sat down where he initially intended to sit, throwing off his clearly empty backpack, smiling at Naruto. Naruto's mood noticeably lifted, and kindly returned the smile although it still appeared to be pained.

Like an infection, he felt jealousy course through his veins, grappling his heart with a deadly dynamism.

He was still around Naruto… Still trying to fill the void that was in plain view.

Naruto couldn't possibly allow him to be his substitute… He was a repeat offender that couldn't even care for a dog much less a relationship with a person. He… He just… He couldn't completely blame him. Naruto was beautiful, and caring, and charismatic. The personification of butterflies, sunshine, and fucking rainbows. It wasn't a surprise that he was trying to capture him so he could corrupt him.

He… felt strongly for Naruto even though he knew he couldn't have him. Expectations abounded, along with the need to spare the feelings that he firmly considered important and insisted he wouldn't crush them. That didn't mean that he necessarily wanted him to happy with someone else. He could selfishly say that he basically wanted Naruto to wear a reserved sign until he was free of his father's guilty reigns. Not only selfish, but morally wrong. Naruto wasn't obligated to wait for him.

But as his hazy, cloud covered skies looked back to the table, he knew that he would wait as long as it took.

...

He and Hidan had left the restricting binds of the lunchroom to stroll the grinning sun that he couldn't possibly relate to, and the gleaming in the sky. Feeling his emotional gate counter that of the happy weather, he just quietly walked beside his the junior, quietly hoping he wouldn't generate any of the negativity between them. Hidan was pure evil. So adding anything to that breadth would not only make for a hail storm but also a hurricane.

"Heard about the scuffle the other day," Hidan said.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, a flash of the fight flagging his vision.

Hidan stopped at the oak tree with Naruto close behind. "You'll get over that ass eventually."

Naruto sadly laughed. "I wish." It was all he could muster as all the memories strolled through his head like a slowly pulled wagon.

Hidan didn't really get it. He wasn't even sure if the guy even knew what love was, let alone experienced it. There was no use in explaining it seeing as Hidan wasn't the one for anything remotely cheesy. He just settled on telling him, it just wasn't as simple as 'forgetting about him.'

The firm urge to cry hit him as everything really hit him. Was his future was going to consist of losing people. First his parents, then Sasuke. Was it ever going to end?

"You will… And when you do, I'll be waiting for you, sweet cheeks." He lightly touched his cheek, winking at him. He turned to walk away, yelling out, "I don't give a fuck how long fucking it takes!"

Naruto felt himself involuntarily smile at the sweet promise. Maybe Hidan wasn't all bad after all. Maybe, there was a minor possibility that he did have a good bone in his body somewhere. Although it was probably only his stapes, it still counted. He hoped…

The tears wound down and he was able not to cry. Usually people felt better when they knew they had a second option but not for Naruto. It actually made Naruto feel worse. He felt like he was betraying the chance of a future life with Sasuke and then like he was leaving Hidan out in the cold. He didn't really want to ever give up on Sasuke but he then again, he didn't want Hidan to wait for him forever.

His confusion was unsettling. Would he ever be able to take Hidan up on that offer?

...

As the bell for Chemistry rang, Naruto could see the indecipherable glint in Sai's midnight, as a condescending smile waxed onto his mouth. "Guess, it's over now, huh?"

Naruto felt his fist clench around his backpack straps, along with his teeth. He wanted to deny that Sai was right and that he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about but he didn't have the heart to. He nearly exploded at the cockiness of the other. "Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything about us you emotionally constipated fuck. So don't sit there on your high horse pretending that you foresaw this in your imaginary crystal ball. What we have is more than what you could ever hope to achieve. Okay?"

Sai's smile automatically faltered, leading Naruto to believe that his words had dismantled him right at his nucleus, where he intended for it to hit him. He scoffed and made his way out of the classroom, not giving two shits if he offended him. He had a mission and nothing that Sai said would change that.

...

"How was your day, son?" Jiraiya asked, raising his pen to the paper.

He and Naruto hadn't really spoken since the day he received a phone call from the school about him getting into an altercation with another student. Down at the publishing house, he nearly worried his little head off. When he returned home, Naruto was there, his face appearing as if he had gotten into a fight with an adult grizzly bear. To say the least, he was horrified. He tried to push Naruto to tell him what happened but he wasn't getting a peep out of him. He only said, "It was Sasuke. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Since then, he sort of grounded himself, never leaving the four corners of his room for long.

Today, by a miracle he was able to catch him before he barricaded himself upstairs. He tried to play it cool and coach a simple conversation that didn't feel like an all-out expose.

Naruto didn't even hear him speak as he stood behind the counter, mixing his chocolate syrup into the plain whole milk. He was devoured of the memory of Sasuke in the lunchroom. How Sasuke looked at him in the lunchroom, gallons of repentance spewing out, his digits trembling with nerves, his dark eyes shimmering with hope. He couldn't help but keep replaying it in his head repeatedly. He thought that he was the only one trying to salvage their relationship. Obviously he was wrong. Turns out, Sasuke was just as hung up on him. The only difference was that Naruto was the one that was willing to admit it.

And he wasn't going to let Sasuke's honor ruin his willpower.

He was Naruto Namikaze damnit and he _never_ gave up.

"It's Tuesday. Where's that Uchiha boy?"

Naruto inwardly winced at the mention of his likeness of his ex-boyfriend. He lowered his head, his bangs concealing his eyes.

Jiraiya cautiously looked up from his notebook, having the inkling that he had said something extremely wrong to the young boy.

Naruto felt his god father's eyes on him and his head immediately shot up. Apparently, he was trying to prevent the man from becoming overly concerned about him.

Jiraiya saw tears come into play as Naruto swallowed a humungus breath. "We're not…"

The older man placed down his pen and turned his focus away from the book in front of him. "Oh… I didn't know—"

Naruto waved his hand casually with a discernably painful laugh. "It's okay. Don't even worry about it."

He continued compulsively stirring his milk even though it was clearly already blended. "There's no way you would have known," he quietly whispered.

Jiraiya looked back at his book, ashamed. Naruto was wrong. He should have known. It was his job to know.

The many afternoons when he would come home to a silent house, his adopted son cooped up in his room refusing to eat dinner because he wasn't "hungry," he should have asked. Because he regarded Naruto as a peculiar ping pong ball, it didn't occur to him that Naruto was acting differently. But later down the road, he noticed. And then, even though he feared the answer, he should have asked him.

He thought it was better late than never—he tried to start the conversation, only to have it shut down. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Naruto stopped stirring and then Jiraiya thought he had a breakthrough. Unfortunately, Naruto shook his head, blinking away any hint of sadness that had developed in his eyes. "No. I'm fine."

Eyes widening a bit, Jiraiya looked away gloomily. That was the first time Naruto had ever truly lied to him. If things continued like this, it wouldn't be the last.

Naruto felt his eyebrows furrow as he stirred more. He wasn't mad at him for asking. He had every right to wonder what had changed over the course of the few weeks. It just didn't mean that he wanted to talk about it.

Jiraiya was like father and he loved him but he wanted him to drop this matter. Forever.

It was best no one knew about what happened between him and Sasuke…

There was a small chance that he repeated what Sasuke had told him—Jiraiya would have a rash reaction and forbid him from seeing Sasuke.

Nothing—no one was going to bar him from seeing Sasuke. So even if he had to keep it from Jiraiya for the rest of his life, he would.

Jiraiya dark eyes clouded with failure as he realized that he and many others failed Naruto.

...

The drizzle of rain indicated a disturbance in the atmosphere, a disagreement between the gods. Heaps of misty clouds settled above his head, disallowing a hint of the sun and all her glory, making the land dismal and gray. Adding to the dreary horizon, the large willow trees leaned, their leaves blowing away into the song of the breeze. On any other day Naruto would have enjoyed these distressingly beautiful conditions from his bedroom balcony but today he couldn't indulge in that simple pleasure. Today he would have to personally mingle with it. Because today, was the _day_.

The anniversary of his parent's death.

He was too young to remember what happened but he had been told the story. His father Minato Namikaze had a few enemies that sought his demise. As the front runner to be CEO of a top private crime prevention agency, he was the target of a heinous plot to insure that the local oil companies could continue dumping in the landfills near civilians home. Due to the rising amount illness among the citizens, and the increasing of the mafia's involvement in the neighborhood. Minato had promised to file an injunction with the EPA on all the businesses that practiced illegal dumping in the state. Also, he wished to begin a criminal investigation into the gang related crimes that the police department was too apprehensive to touch.

With roughly a week left until the board voted on Minato's CEO prospects, all stakes tightened and the tension could be felt in their blood. His mother, Kushina had suggested that they take a little time off before the big decision was made so he could take time to collect his thoughts and focus more on the family. Minato had agreed, thinking that he needed to spend more time with his wife and his newborn before he became he acquired an entire business. Something relaxing was in order, so they settled on the beach on the outskirts of town.

After the short trip, they had prepared to go home to continue the restful day. But they didn't make it there… The axel rod had been tampered with and the car whirled out of control on the interstate causing a three car pile-up. There were numerous injuries between the vehicles but only two casualties… His mother and father.

He was strapped in so securely that he wasn't ejected from the car even after it rolled four times. Using the Jaws of Life, they were able to pry him the car, safe and sound… His parents weren't so lucky. When they tried to resuscitate Minato, he was completely unresponsive. Kushina had a faint pulse after the impact of the crash. They were able to rush her to the hospital. They were able to stabilize her long enough so she could give Jiriaya legal rights to care of her son in the event she wouldn't be able to care for her baby boy. But because of her severe head injury, soon after she slipped into a coma and then passed away.

Everything was hectic thereafter, media coverage was thick, pressuring the police to go into an in depth investigation that they were hoping to avoid. The implication that the mafia was involved was enough for them to look the other way. But Jiraiya demanded action from the police commissioner. Grudgingly, after enough public pressure from the people, he opened a criminal case.

Even after a thorough investigation, they were unable to uncover a concrete suspect. They had suspicions about the Oto Company that was overseen by Kabuto Yakushi but they didn't have any physical evidence to criminally charge anyone.

Disappointed but still determined, Jiraiya, with the help of fellow townspeople, were able to file a civil suit against Oto for the wrongful death of Kushina and Minato Namikaze. With their mountain of circumstantial evidence, they spent months in and out of court, pouring through numerous legal proceedings. They didn't intend on giving up, although they seemed to be occasionally outwitted by Kabuto's slimy attorney team.

They added something to the case that Kabuto didn't have, heart.

And the judge seemed agree as he sided with them. On July 3, 1998, Naruto Namikaze was awarded 300 million dollars in damages to be paid in full by the end of that year. The money put into an untouchable account until his 18th birthday.

Albeit a victory, it was bittersweet one. The ruling wasn't going to bring back the sweet, loving father and husband, nor the caring, devoted wife and mother, back from the grave. And that was the reality that they all had to accept.

Including him.

Growing up proved to be much more difficult without parents. Jiraiya and his close friend Tsunade were there for him when he needed it but the hole in his heart was still a gaping mess. His lack of association with a 'normal' child's habits made it hard for him to connect with his peers, therefore making the wound bleed even more profusely. He didn't have friends only a few acquaintances but they were never able to infiltrate the impenetrable barrier he put up. But he didn't want them to. If he got too close to some of them maybe they would leave…just like his parents did.

Sometimes the loneliness made it impossible for him to take a liberated breath. He always was tangled in a fit of sadness that tripped any signal of happiness. He didn't know why he couldn't reach this level of mere level of contentment. He was emotionally extinct and he had no idea how to resurrect the ability.

He walked slowly, resolute in reaching where he was he was going. The slight wind made carrying flowers to grave more difficult but Naruto didn't mind. Paying respects, pouring his heart out was more important than any weather discrepancies.

This was his only time he let his sadness get the better of him—where he could be alone with the root of his pain and let it run.

He lowered the flowers to their graves with a sad smile and then squatted in headstones. With his head spinning an intense whirlpool of emotions, chest clutching like a snare, he knew he could barely push out a trace of carbon dioxide. His hand fluttered aimlessly as he stretched to touch the cold stone literally beneath his fingers. When he managed to make contact, he felt his heart implode in his ribcage, a river of sorrow threatening to drown him. A pit of turmoil stirred inside him like a horrific hail storm that he had no idea how to remedy. His nauseous stomach pelted the onset of the violent sob that overtook his form. Like thunder, the tears began soon after the shameless quake of hurt. The wetness jilted him back to a small semblance of reality. He didn't try to wipe away the evidence of the grief spewing on his cheeks.

_Alone_.

Quivering irrepressibly because of the wind, he tried to muster a few words for the sake of his parents' dignity. "Mom, D-Dad. You deserved to live. You d-deserved life. It's so unfair. So unfair that you're here…" He carefully, addressed the cold concrete with infinite tenderness. "I wish you were here… Here with me," Naruto muttered, feeling another sob attack his short-lived composure.

"So I wouldn't be alone…" By no fault of his own, his mind shifted to Sasuke…

**Alone. **

The only person that made him whole…

**Alone.**

Didn't want to be with him.

**Alone. **

Couldn't be with him.

He remembered the posthumous honoree they had given his father after his service. The community even banded together to build a small site that consisted of a heart shaped bench with a hard, concrete slab in front with their names carefully engraved in cursive in the front. He visited it occasionally when he felt he needed to be close to them, sometimes even tell them things. It was comforting but not satisfying.

It was still never close enough for him and it never would be.

The soft occasional pitter patter of the rain bombarded his skin, combining with the tears clogging his eyes. The clouds slowly hobbled to one side permitting the sky to let go of the water that it was containing. It looked like something that was in museum, hung in the beautiful disaster, painted with a troubled, disorderly paint brush.

He could nearly say it was depiction of his poly-colored life, the sunlight peeking out, scattered showers in one area, clouds occupying one part of the sky.

This spring was very chaotic, which was fitting. His life was dismantling itself, making him available for an arsenal of injuries.

Hindered by the splash of tears obscuring his vision, he tried to focus on the picture of his beautiful cherry haired mother. His beautiful mother.

He never got to know who they were from his perspective. He only knew how they lived life through other people's accounts. Could he really miss them if he didn't know who they were?

A crisp crunch of an old winter strung leave robbed his attention from his parents. Knowing that he wasn't alone, he dare not run. He only jerkily looked at the disturbance through the veil of rain. He saw the blurry figure drawing near, and he immediately swallowed the hurt clogging his mouth. As the tears that obscured his vision skated down his cheeks, his sight was cleared and he could see that it was his former love, Sasuke still in the private school uniform, holding a beautiful bundle of assorted flowers.

He felt the pain clawing at his insides that they were already burning from a bitter, inner acid.

He had offhandedly told Sasuke the date that his parents had been murdered and he remembered… He remembered. And he cared enough to pay respects, even though he…

Naruto welled up with a ward of emotions, feeling his veins tousle as he forgot to breathe.

Sasuke was thinking about him and the people he loved.

Even though he had told him that horrible secret that he had yet to process in his head, he was still here paying condolences. That was the epitome of remorse. He already decided that he didn't want it to come between them. It was mistake that his parents had made and it wouldn't have been fair if he punished Sasuke for it. He wasn't going to deny that he was still salty that he didn't tell him for so long but he understood why he avoided the subject. He decided that he wanted to let it go. Holding on to it and letting it maturate would only lead to bad bile in his soul. With his parent's death, he learned to forgive for himself, for all who had wronged him, and for Sasuke.

He could tell by the look bewilderment, Sasuke didn't know that he would be here. And the features that Naruto had become so familiarized with, were fogged by the spritz of mist. His slender nose bone and his enchanting pair of glistening grey eyes, complimented by his long, dark eyelashes, framed by curtains of sleek, sable hair—were the surface of his obsessions, the marrow of his dreams, the bulk of his desires. He couldn't wipe his memory banks of the image. Even if he moved on, Sasuke would permanently be etched in his heart as his soulmate. The next person would be automatically reduced to mediocre replacement. A person that could never fill Sasuke's shoes.

Sasuke treaded the sodden earth, passing the three headstones proceeding to his destination. He didn't expect Naruto to be here. Today he hadn't attended school, so he thought that he had already stopped by.

Today was the 15th anniversary of their deaths. He remembered the date. He even distinctly recalled the afternoon Naruto told him about it. It was terribly traumatizing for him to rehash the incident. He knew it took a tremendous amount of courage share that with him. After he told him, he had expressed his gratitude to him for having enough faith in him to tell him about it.

At that time, he didn't know what his father had done then but he was certain if he had, he would have divulged everything to Naruto sooner than he had, saving him the pain. Until now, he had been making useless excuses, hiding behind his cowardice, too afraid to tell him. He knew Naruto had already forgiven him but he knew that he didn't deserve a shred of Naruto's salvation.

He kneeled to the grave and placed the arrangement of chrysanthemums, anemones, a variety of roses, and fresh tulips on the cold stone. He tenderly touched their picture, feeling Naruto's gorgeous sapphire eyes condense every positive cell coursing through his veins. He shifted his gaze to the broken boy, their souls fastening, their hearts finally becoming one.

The former dirt that was now mud squished under the sole of his shoes as modified his posture, covering Naruto's hand with his much larger one.

"Sasss, I…I," He murmured, his voice swallowed by his mourning.

Sasuke quietly shushed him and directed his face into his shoulder. "I know, Naruto, I know." He threw himself into Sasuke's arms, compressing him so tightly, he was sure his arms were slowly numbing from the intensity. Sasuke returned the hug with the same, if not greater charisma. He trembled feebly in his arms, clinging to him like a fresh tattoo. The howling wind was desperate for recognition but it only received Naruto's hiccups and soft cries as answers.

Judging by the lack of items Naruto had, he deduced that Naruto reached here by foot. With the rain beginning to stream for the sky, he knew that he couldn't back home that way. He could get sick… Except this time, he wouldn't be able to take care of him.

...

He heart was pounding until he remembered that both Tsunade and Jiraiya wouldn't be home tonight. Relaxing, he let Sasuke kiss him so deeply that it made him think that he want to become one. In the dark, he efficiently ridded him of his pants, lifting him onto the kitchen counter, kneading between his thighs with saliva slicked fingers.

He knew their arresting relationship was addictive, damaging and oddly beautiful. But he couldn't help himself. It wasn't in him To deny Sasuke's method of comfort. His diversion from Naruto's pain, dulling the heartache.

The floor became smeared with the scent the tropical rain showers, as they drenched the floor with wet their garments.

Naruto kissed Sasuke roughly, circling his arms around his neck, moaning. The accuracy of the fingers dulled his heartache with each passing second. Breaking the kiss, and pressing his face into Sasuke's neck, he was so thankful. For meeting Sasuke, being able to give him his love, and being able to be close to him. For Sasuke being here when he knew that he needed him.

Sasuke just didn't know how much it all meant to him. Even though they didn't last.

He felt Sasuke raked his clothed sides, audibly groaning as he pushed inside. He laxed his ass muscles, letting him in, enjoying the girth always filled him—completed him. Slowly, the pale boy kissed on his cheek, rocking into him gently like he was a born again virgin.

Naruto felt himself inwardly smile at the consideration.

Sasuke always coddled him.

In was the one time they were truly in sync, bodies moving together, the first time their rapture became visible. It wasn't about the joining of the bodies; it was about more of a meeting of the minds and the communication of their souls.

They were so intertwined, anything could really ship them into their beautiful, bittersweet end. And Naruto never feared anything more in his life.

Sasuke barely touched his inner thigh but the subtle brush ceased Naruto's continuance. He felt his lower body erupt, likewise milking Sasuke of his sudden orgasm.

Clutching his intimate partner, he panted, feeling a fresh onrush of tears break lose. This was probably the last time they would ever be this close.

He knew Sasuke wouldn't change his mind.

Meaning that this was the end for them.

Naruto sobbed again, gripping onto the back of Sasuke's shirt even tighter than before, asking for assurance. Begging him not to leave.

As Sasuke complied, holding his body trembling from the cold rain, healing from his own turbulence, he realized he couldn't deny it anymore. Not only did he love Naruto, he was in love with him. Madly. Deeply. So entrenched, he was sure that it would be easier to get out of quicksand.

He just knew it. Seeing Naruto hurt like this, hurt. He felt the responsibility to take care of him

And he knew without that purpose, he would be lost.

"This doesn't mean that…"

"I know…" Naruto immediately answered, feeling like another wedge square in the ribs.

"Can we just stay like this…?" He asked, pulling Sasuke impossibly closer. "Just like this," He slowly whispered into his shoulder, feeling fatigue burden his eyelids, sadness wrecking his heart.

Sasuke understood the delusional question. However, he also understood that it wasn't practical. _They_ weren't practical.

As Sasuke tangled his hands into Naruto's soaked hair, he didn't object to Naruto's proposition. In the prickling calm, just the relentless hammering of the rain, they realized that whether they were lovers, friends, or enemies, near or far, they would _never_ escape each other.

(Like a _**moth**_ to a _**flame—**_the addictive attraction would always drag you back.)

Yeah, no happy endings here.  
Mmm, I hope everyone, including my love, Kori-Cat enjoyed… Muah. I'll be updating everything soon. So just look out for me, I guess? (I'm going to finish all my stories. I just need time and _**energy**_ T.T)  
Can anyone guess why I titled this the ominous word, _**Shade**_?  
Any questions, concerns, or whatever don't hesitate to contact me. Thanks for reading you guys. If you could review and tell me what you thought, (because I've never written anything so windy, long, and angst-y before) that would greatly appreciated.

Stay beautiful, you guys ...


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